Category Archives: Uncategorized

G-20 and a Plus One

By BRUCE LOWITT(Partial transcript of President Donald Trump’s cabinet meeting preceding the G-20 gathering of international finance ministers and central bankers in Asheville, North Carolina. The recording was made by Natalie Harp, Trump’s Executive Assistant and official First Groupie, seated a little too close to the president.)Trump: “… but what I really want to knowContinue reading “G-20 and a Plus One”

Letters, we get letters …

By BRUCE LOWITTFellow Dakotan,The Dakotas are states made up of rural highways, small towns and tight-knit communities where taking care of your neighbor and telling the truth are paramount. That’s why I’ve spent much of the past six months putting thousands of miles on my own pickup truck traveling to the 119 counties of NorthContinue reading “Letters, we get letters …”

From Here to Eternity

By BRUCE LOWITT (Transcript of Lindsey Graham’s final interview, during his funeral. While his body lay in state in the U.S. Capitol Rotunda, Graham’s soul was summoned Wednesday to an anteroom for a “transitional meeting”.) Graham: “Where am I?”Host: “All in good time, Mr. Graham.”Graham: “That’s Senator Graham.”Host: “Not as of seventeen days ago.”Graham: “ExcuseContinue reading “From Here to Eternity”

Approaching the Finish Line

By BRUCE LOWITT Partial transcript of a Zoom conference call involving President Donald Trump, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, Secretary of State Marco Rubio, Vice President JD Vance, Middle East Envoy Steve Witkoff, and presidential son-in-law Jared Kushner, preceding the announcement of a deal that could lead to the end of the war with Iran.Trump: “…Continue reading “Approaching the Finish Line”

What’s up, Doc?

By BRUCE LOWITT It turns out that not all of the 22 “doctors” who recently examined Donald Trump had medical degrees and, according to Sean Barbabella, DO, his personal physician, had been summoned to the Walter Reed National Military Medical Center to study “other aspects of the president’s condition.” Barbabella, a doctor of osteopathic medicine,Continue reading “What’s up, Doc?”

Trump: A world apart

By BRUCE LOWITTParaguay, its Asociación Paraguaya de Fútbol, and three of its South American neighbors sued President Donald Trump and the United States government after he barred the Paraguayan World Cup soccer players from entering the country to play its scheduled Friday match against the USA team.This comes one week after Trump issued an executiveContinue reading “Trump: A world apart”

Chinese takeout

By BRUCE LOWITT (Excerpts from the conversation between President Donald Trump and China’s leader, Xi Jinping, with the translation for Trump of Xi’s statements provided by White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, who took a two-week crash course in Mandarin prior to the trip.)What Trump heard: “You’re looking fine, Mr. President.”What Xi said: “你突然变老了而且胖了很.” (“YouContinue reading “Chinese takeout”

Trump’s balls … room

By BRUCE LOWITT President Donald Trump, announcing that his still-to-be-built ballroom attached to the White House was not going to be “yooj enough,” has redesigned an enlarged version with plans to host a Super Bowl, the NCAA Final Four, and attract other events. “I don’t see a reason why I can’t bring a future WorldContinue reading “Trump’s balls … room”

Operational Screwups

By BRUCE LOWITT (Code names considered for United States operations against Iran and elsewhere detailed in notes written in staff meetings by Army Chief of Staff General Randy George and Naval Secretary John Phelan, among the officials later fired by unstable Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth. The notes were found tucked between sofa cushions in theContinue reading “Operational Screwups”