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Indefensible
By BRUCE LOWITT President Donald Trump says the $500-billion increase in military spending in his forthcoming budget will cover the cost of converting all Abrams tanks to coal power and the gold-plating of a dozen tanks to be stationed around the new White House ballroom. In addition, the budget calls for installing state-of-the-art gymnasiums in…
Clark: All about character(s)
By BRUCE LOWITT Tony Clark’s sudden resignation as executive director of the MLB Players Association followed an internal investigation which revealed that his “inappropriate” relationships involved not only his sister-in-law but also team mascots Phoebe Phanatic (the mother of Philadelphia’s Phillie Phanatic), Mrs. Met, (wife of New York’s Mr. Met), and Cincinnati’s Rosie Red. There…
Shitshape
By BRUCE LOWITT A second aircraft carrier, the USS Gerald R. Ford, has been ordered to the Middle East by President Donald Trump despite warnings that the ship isn’t shipshape and, pretty soon, the crew might not be, either. Trump, whose naval expertise is limited to playing with toy boats in his bathtubs until he…
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