By BRUCE LOWITT
(Transcript of a meeting involving self-disgracing then-ambassador to Greece Kimberly Guilfoyle, Secretary of State Marco Rubio, Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth, Attorney General Todd Blanche, U.S. Trade Representative Jamieson Greer, Guilfoyle lawyer David Schwartz, and Greece Foreign Minister Giorgos Gerapetritis. The recording was made by Greek film director Yorgos Lanthimos, who said he was considering casting Guilfoyle in one of the title roles for ‘Wannabe Rich Bitches’, a followup to his 2023 Academy Award-winning film ‘Poor Things’ before Guilfoyle’s indiscretions “outdid anything in the script,” he said. “She’d have turned it into an unintentional comedy.”)
Pete Hegseth: “Where’s Kim?”
(Crash)
Marco Rubio: “Jesus Chr-…”
(Crash, tinkle)
Giorgos Gerapetritis: “Oh, that must be …”
(Splat)
Gerapetritis: “… Kimberly. She thinks we’re still smashing dinner plates like we did before it got banned like fifty years ago. I bet she’s seen Zorba the Greek, not to mention watching My Big Fat Greek Wedding a few too many times.”
(Crash)
David Schwartz: “But it’s three in the afternoon. Too late for lunch, too early for dinner.”
(Blam)
Hegseth: “They also shot guns when they were throwing plates? Cool.”
(Boom)
Rubio: “No I just realized. She …”
(Door slams open)
Kimberly Guilfoyle: “Who’s in charge here and why am I being fucked?”
Rubio): “… just found out she’s out as ambassador to Greece – or anywhere else.”
Guilfoyle: “I’m not out of anything! Katie Zacharia asked – asked – me if I’d step down and I told her, ‘You’re just the White House secretary and that doesn’t mean shit!’ When someone …”
Hegseth: “I guess you don’t get it, Kim. When the White House asks, it’s not question. It’s an order. Like when I ‘ask’ generals to …”
Rubio: “Okay, let’s not go there, Pete.”
Guilfoyle: “Besides, what’ve I done that’s so wrong?”
Todd Blanche: “Well, let’s start with that promise of White House access you made to a Trump supporter and donor in exchange for paying your one-hundred-thousand-dollar Amex credit-card bill.”
Guilfoyle: That was for speaking engagements before I was ambassador. What’s wrong with that. I heard that Ken Paxton …”
Blanche: “Uh-uh-uhhhh. Don’t go there.”
Guilfoyle: “What?”
Jamieson Greer: “The president likes him less than he likes you, and you’re moving up on his shit list. Alienating the staff of our embassy in Athens, cozying up to rich Greek businessmen and, uh, partying hard as the top representative of our government to Greece didn’t win you any favors.”
Blanche: “Besides, the president was thinking about firing you. Remember, he told reporters, ‘We’re looking at it. We’re not happy,’ but decided to hold off and told Katie to make a glowing statement about how you’ve been ‘a wonderful asset to the team and how we wish you well.’ Isn’t that …”
Guilfoyle: “That’s boiler-plate bullshit and you know it. I will not have my reputation smeared by …”
Schwartz: (Snort)
Guilfoyle: “What was that?”
Schwartz: “Oh, nothing. I just, heh-heh, was thinking about how when you were on FOX your reputation (snort) was (chuckle) … was – …”
Guilfoyle: “You can’t talk to me like that! You’re my fucking lawyer! On second thought, you’re fired.”
Schwartz: “Aren’t you going to ‘ask’ me to resign?”
(Chairs crashing)
(Recording ends)
