Category Archives: Uncategorized

By BRUCE LOWITT Despite stock markets being closed for the weekend, securities have continued to collapse, losing another 9.7% worldwide Saturday and 11.4% Sunday after President Donald Trump declared, “It’s all going to be okay because I’m about to sign an executive order declaring my $TRUMP memecoin the official currency of the United States, soContinue reading “Lock, Stock, and Bankrupt”

By BRUCE LOWITT President Donald Trump issued an executive order Thursday banning all names of potential 2025 hurricanes after the Department of Government Efficiency researched them and reported that “not one of them was an American name.” The White House said DOGE, currently run by political albatross Elon Musk, spent $1.2-million investigating the 21 namesContinue reading “Trump: Inheriting the Wind”

By BRUCE LOWITT Partial transcript of a conference call recording among some of the principal partners of Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton & Garrison, and Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom, a pair of white-shoe law firms which surrendered under White House pressure rather than stand up for democracy and the Constitution. Similar prestigious law firmsContinue reading “An Uncivil Action”

By BRUCE LOWITT With the appointment by Donald Trump of prosperity theology televangelist and part-time Journey roadie Paula White-Cain as leader of his recently formed White House Faith office, the president has formally proclaimed the official United States religion to be Donationism, based on the belief that in order to be saved, one must giveContinue reading “Give the Gift of Grift”

By BRUCE LOWITT The visit Friday by Vice President JD Vance and his mail-order bride, Usha, to Greenland didn’t go as well as planned, a U.S. government spokesperson said, “starting with their arrival at Pituffik Space Base, when Usha Vance kept saying ‘pitty-fuck’ as she and her husband deplaned.”When Vance tried to correct his wifeContinue reading “Vance: Red-faced in Greenland”

By BRUCE LOWITT Partial transcript of the TikTok group chat involving President Donald Trump, Vice President JD Vance, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, Senior Trump Advisor Stephen Miller, National Security Advisor Michael Waltz and others conducted March 25 in a SCIF (Stupidly Concocted Inept Forum): President Trump: “… but before we talk about invading Iceland, I’dContinue reading “SIGNALS Crossed”

By BRUCE LOWITT Taking his love for the poorly educated to the next level, President Donald Trump signed an executive order Thursday to begin the dismantling of the Department of Education “because everyone in America has the right to be stupid.” Trump reportedly admitted privately last week to a close friend that his BS degreeContinue reading “Get Smart? Not Likely”

By BRUCE LOWITT The New York Yankees, who came within three victories last year of winning their 28th World Series (okay, they lost in five games to the Los Angeles Dodgers), entered 2025 with high hopes of ending a world championship drought dating back to 2009. But this season hasn’t gone as well as expected.Continue reading “Yankees: heading south”

By BRUCE LOWITT Police in Fort Worth, Texas, responding to multiple calls Monday from angry residents in the affluent Park Hill neighborhood, surrounded the home of Mark and Brooke Rollins on Winton Terrace West to quell what Police Chief Neil Noakes described as a “potential political poultry problem.” Brooke Rollins, President Donald Trump’s Secretary ofContinue reading “Spring chickens? NIMBY”