Category Archives: Uncategorized

By BRUCE LOWITT President Donald Trump, while refusing to admit his decision to levy a 145% tariff on China was one of his dumbest ideas ever and one which could cause a world-wide recession and possibly trigger World War III, announced Saturday he would exclude “electronics and various other items” from reciprocal tariffs. The decisionContinue reading “Trump: Taxing Credulity”

By BRUCE LOWITT Five additional major law firms caved Friday to pressure from Donald Trump rather than deal with punitive action by the White House and immediately went to work for the president, suing the rest of America’s top 97 law firms, the Democratic and Republican parties, Augusta National Golf Club, several sports leagues, Kimberly-ClarkContinue reading “Law and Disorder”

By BRUCE LOWITT Four days after revoking the visas of all South Sudan passport holders, U.S. Secretary of State Marco Rubio was arrested Wednesday by Immigration and Customs Enforcement officers, hurriedly flown to Cuba, and imprisoned at Guantanamo Bay after President Donald Trump said he was in the United States illegally. “Because Little Marco –Continue reading “Big Trouble for Little Marco”

By BRUCE LOWITT With the sudden emergence of the torpedo bat as baseball’s hottest new offensive tool, the ACME Corporation, best known as the supplier of insane weaponry for Wile E. Coyote in his relentless pursuit of the RoadRunner, has jumped into the sports market with devices like rocket shoes and giant rubber bands toContinue reading “ACME: “The Best or Bust””

By BRUCE LOWITT Despite stock markets being closed for the weekend, securities have continued to collapse, losing another 9.7% worldwide Saturday and 11.4% Sunday after President Donald Trump declared, “It’s all going to be okay because I’m about to sign an executive order declaring my $TRUMP memecoin the official currency of the United States, soContinue reading “Lock, Stock, and Bankrupt”

By BRUCE LOWITT President Donald Trump issued an executive order Thursday banning all names of potential 2025 hurricanes after the Department of Government Efficiency researched them and reported that “not one of them was an American name.” The White House said DOGE, currently run by political albatross Elon Musk, spent $1.2-million investigating the 21 namesContinue reading “Trump: Inheriting the Wind”

By BRUCE LOWITT Partial transcript of a conference call recording among some of the principal partners of Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton & Garrison, and Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom, a pair of white-shoe law firms which surrendered under White House pressure rather than stand up for democracy and the Constitution. Similar prestigious law firmsContinue reading “An Uncivil Action”

By BRUCE LOWITT With the appointment by Donald Trump of prosperity theology televangelist and part-time Journey roadie Paula White-Cain as leader of his recently formed White House Faith office, the president has formally proclaimed the official United States religion to be Donationism, based on the belief that in order to be saved, one must giveContinue reading “Give the Gift of Grift”

By BRUCE LOWITT The visit Friday by Vice President JD Vance and his mail-order bride, Usha, to Greenland didn’t go as well as planned, a U.S. government spokesperson said, “starting with their arrival at Pituffik Space Base, when Usha Vance kept saying ‘pitty-fuck’ as she and her husband deplaned.”When Vance tried to correct his wifeContinue reading “Vance: Red-faced in Greenland”

By BRUCE LOWITT Partial transcript of the TikTok group chat involving President Donald Trump, Vice President JD Vance, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, Senior Trump Advisor Stephen Miller, National Security Advisor Michael Waltz and others conducted March 25 in a SCIF (Stupidly Concocted Inept Forum): President Trump: “… but before we talk about invading Iceland, I’dContinue reading “SIGNALS Crossed”