Category Archives: Uncategorized

By BRUCE LOWITTFormer Republican National Committee chair and evanescent NBC News analyst Ronna Romney McDaniel was struck by lightning Wednesday, just minutes after Donald Trump had said he planned to make her his chief Bible salesperson. McDaniel sustained only minor burns, mostly to her spine and ego, and issued a statement saying she had decidedContinue reading “Help me, Ronna. On second thought, don’t.”

By BRUCE LOWITT Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene is expected to be released Monday from Floyd County Hospital near her Rome, Ga., home after treatment for a shattered jaw which she said she received “during a debate Friday with Mike Johnson.” Greene, R-Bloodbath, reportedly was injured when she rushed the Speaker of the House after introducingContinue reading “MTG: Introducing a motion with teeth”

By BRUCE LOWITT New York Attorney General Letitia James denied Thursday she is considering seizing Donald Trump’s assets if the former president is unable to secure the bond he needs to pay the $464-million in a fraud judgment against him by Monday. “What I announced and was obviously misunderstood,” James said, “is that I’m goingContinue reading “Whatever L J wants, L J gets”

By BRUCE LOWITT After prosecutors and defense lawyers submitted their responses to her request for proposed jury instructions, Judge Aileen Cannon added several additional hypothetical questions Wednesday in Donald Trump’s classified documents trial, including how much jurors would be willing to donate to the former president’s legal defense fund or pay toward the $454-million heContinue reading “Cannon’s balls”

By BRUCE LOWITT Georgia District Attorney Fani Willis filed a motion Monday to have Judge Scott McAfee removed from her prosecution of former President Donald Trump for “failing to explain his comment about me and Nathan Wade.” Willis’ ethics were repeatedly questioned during a hearing regarding her relationship with Wade, who resigned Friday as specialContinue reading “Something’s rotten in Georgia”

By BRUCE LOWITT Speaker Mike Johnson said he canceled the rest of the House Republican Conference’s retreat Thursday morning, the second of the scheduled three days, because “the few people who showed up despised each other. And besides, nobody was listening to me.” “Why should we?” Rep. Matt Gaetz, R-Pomade, said in a telephone interviewContinue reading “GOP: Retreating”

By BRUCE LOWITT Dan Snyder, professional putz and former owner of the Washington Commanders, made a surprise $250-million offer to buy the suddenly-available naming rights to the NFL team’s stadium, causing a stampede of season-ticket holders demanding refunds. “I can’t give you an exact number because the line outside our office is about a mileContinue reading “If Snyder’s back in, the fans back out”

By BRUCE LOWITT Partial transcript, recorded by a U.S. Supreme Court clerk who provided it on condition of anonymity, of the conference in which the justices decided to hear former president Donald Trump’s immunity appeal: Chief Justice John Roberts: “Now before we …” Associate Justice Clarence Thomas: “Not guilty!” Roberts: “Clarence, we haven’t even decidedContinue reading “SCOTUS FUCTUS”

By BRUCE LOWITT At 4:29 p.m. Tuesday in the well of the Senate, Minority Leader Mitch McConnell announced he will step down in November as Republican leader “because I have decided …” At 9:53 a.m. Wednesday, after a 17-hour, 24-minute pause, during which he stared blankly at a mostly empty chamber, McConnell completed his statement:Continue reading “Mitch ditches the bitches”

By BRUCE LOWITT Morally and potentially financially bankrupt former president Donald Trump, with legal judgments of $542-million (and growing), is seeking $2-billion from Crown Prince and Prime Minister Mohammed bin Salman of Saudi Arabia in exchange for his daughter, Ivanka.“Moe – that’s what I call him; we’re very close – told me he’s very interestedContinue reading “The Crown Prince: “Here’s lookin’ at you, kid””