Author Archives: lowittlowdown

By BRUCE LOWITT 1. These are real sports. One of them is conducting its championship on Saturday. Which sport is it?(a) Fistball(b) Floorball(c) Foosball(d) Football(e) Fuzzball(f) One of the above 2. Which of these is an active league?(a) AFL(b) CIO(c) XAT(d) PBS(e) STD(f) None of the above 3. Which of these is an actual leagueContinue reading “Who is Russ Brandon?* If you know, you’ve already passed this test”

By BRUCE LOWITT Gov. Greg Abbott admits that the mental health problems responsible for the increase in mass shootings in Texas are primarily his own. “I don’t know whether it’s my slavish adherence to the Republican party’s love of guns or my love of John Wick movies, or perhaps just my own my stupidity andContinue reading “Abbott takes a shot at gunplay in Texas”

By BRUCE LOWITT The discovery of a cache of e-mails showing what Tucker Carlson claims to be his softer side has Fox rethinking the firing of its most popular host. But the racist, misogynistic prime-time star has rebuffed the right-wing network and is offering his services to a raft of other cable programs. “All thatContinue reading “After “faking the rage,” Tucker Carlson wants to show his softer side”

By BRUCE LOWITT Thoroughbred trainer Bob Baffert, winner of 16 Triple Crown races, failed Friday to force his way through the courts into Saturday’s 149th running of the Kentucky Derby after his horse, Trumpster, was ruled ineligible due to the presence in pre-race tests of ivermectin and hydroxychloroquine. Baffert’s record-tying six Kentucky Derby victories, alongContinue reading “Baffert: No horsing around Kentucky”

By BRUCE LOWITT 1511: Liam McCardle of Stirling, Scotland, getting rid of a year’s worth of accumulated junk in his estate house, throws a large rock out of his front door and along a walkway where his mother, Aileen, is trying to sweep away pieces of ice, inadvertently inventing curling. 1651: The first horse raceContinue reading “This Month in Sports History”

By BRUCE LOWITT In his nearly three years as Postmaster General, Louis DeJoy has managed to mangle the United States Postal Service more than all his predecessors put together, dating back to Benjamin Franklin in 1775. Mr. DeJoy cut back the number of employees and mail-sorting machines, barred carriers from making extra trips to getContinue reading “DeJoy to the world: stamp it”

By BRUCE LOWITT In a trade of cable television network news anchors that stunned the Republican Party, CNN acquired Tucker Carlson from Fox and sent Don Lemon to its litigation-burdened rival. As part of the deal, Fox will pay 50 percent of Carlson’s salary during his first year with CNN and, in exchange, Fox willContinue reading “Carlson and Lemon: Trading Places”

By BRUCE LOWITT Angered by what he called “Dominion’s total capitulation to Fox,” Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis has filed defamation suits against multiple media outlets, schools, religious institutions and Walt Disney World, claiming they have unfairly damaged his campaign to become America’s first despot. “They’ve taken what I’ve said and done and accurately reported orContinue reading “DeSantis: Getting even and (maybe) getting richer”

(An occasional feature) By BRUCE LOWITT April 17 In 1961, some 1,500 CIA-trained Cuban exiles launched the disastrous Bay of Pigs invasion of Cuba in an attempt to topple Fidel Castro, whose forces crushed the incursion by the third day. An estimated 2,000 pigs also died in the battle, leading to the largest barbecue inContinue reading “Today in Hystery”

By BRUCE LOWITT Coming on the heels of his decision to ground $200-million worth of Chinese-made drones used by police and firefighters, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis has ordered the closing of all 14,729 Chinese restaurants in his state because, he said, “they may also pose a security risk.” DeSantis, unofficially running for president and officiallyContinue reading “‘Chinese Restaurant Syndrome’? DeSantis should know better”