“Do you take this …? Of course you do”

By BRUCE LOWITT

ProPublica has disclosed that not only did Russian oligarch Umar Kremlev bankroll the wedding afterparty in May of Donald Trump Jr. and socialite Bettina Anderson in the Bahamas, he also paid for the bat mitzvah two years ago of Arabella Rose Kushner, daughter of Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump.

Kremlev, head of the International Boxing Association, said he also has set aside close to half a million dollars for the future bar mitzvahs of Arabella’s brothers, Joseph Frederick and Theodore James Kushner.

And Kremlev, who has close ties with Russian President Vladimir Putin, reportedly will be funding the divorce of First Lady Melania Trump, with negotiations and possible litigation beginning January 21, 2028.

The report was neither confirmed nor denied by Kremlev. However, Stephanie Winston Wolkoff, Melania’s closest friend and confidant until they had a falling out in 2018 over inauguration spending, said she was told by a White House source that “Mel’s had it up to here with that obese sweatbag and can’t wait to leave.”

Wolkoff, whose 2020 tell-all memoir, Melania and Me, received mixed reviews, said the First Lady told her, “Normally, I’d pay to get out of this marriage but I’ve got enough on fatso’s grifting that he’ll be paying me plenty to shut me up.”

The bat mitzvah of the Kushners’ daughter was held in the Courtroom, in the center of the U.S. Supreme Court, and was officiated by Samuel Alito after fellow Associate Justice Clarence Thomas turned down the offer, saying, “I don’t do grifts and I don’t do Jew things because aren’t they the same? Also, their offer was well below my minimum.”

The Trump Jr.-Anderson wedding was a lavish three-day affair including a fireworks show on a private island rented by Kremlev, but apparently did not include attendance by Vanessa Trump, Don Jr’s., ex-wife, or their five children. Don Jr. and Bettina offered them an alternative party, which they passed on, at Five Islands Water & Amusement Park and Dysentery Farm in Chaguaramas, Trinidad.

The Kushner bat-mitzvah was a more diverse production. There were pony rides for the children at Laurel Park in Maryland, where Eric Trump fell off his pony and chipped a tooth. And shotgun sports “for the MAGA crowd” at the Bull Run Shooting Center in Centreville, Va., where Eric blew off two toes on his right foot.

The evening ended with a Vaudeville show – Minstrel performers that amused Thomas and the Ronny Jackson-led medical staff treating Eric Trump and sedating Lara, his wife.