By BRUCE LOWITT
(Partial transcript of a session with President Donald Trump conducted by Dr. Verruckt Wahnsinnig, a psychiatrist at the Lacherlich Institute, a private hospital in suburban Washington, D.C. The session was requested – and the resulting recording was purloined – by a person known only as The Human Printer.)
VW: “So why don't we discuss in greater detail the way that day unfolded?”
DT: “I told you already. I was right there.”
VW: “By right there you mean ...”
DT: “In the, I don't know, the North Tower or maybe the South Tower. I got turned around a lot. Maybe I was in both towers. You don't know that I wasn't.”
VW: “I see. But you say you definitely were in one of the towers?”
DT: “Absolutely.”
VW: “And was that before or after the first plane crashed into the building?”
DT: “Before … I think. Maybe it was … I'm not sure which plane … It could have been after.”
VW: “But you say you remember debris falling all around you?”
DT: “No. I mean yes. What do you mean by 'debris'?”
VW: “Stuff. Junk. Cement. Desks. Windows. Computers. Pails. Condiments. Lamps. ...”
DT: “Ketchup. A lot of ketchup. And cheeseburgers. Maybe nuggets. It might have been some of that. I don't remember if ...”
VW: “But you were definitely in one of the towers?”
DT: “Wait. Maybe it was the West Wing. I remember watching …”
VW: “I don't doubt it. I imagine you fantasized …”
DT: “I remember a couple of guys ...”
VW: “Guys? Are you sure they were guys?”
DT: “Definitely. Yeah, firemen. One of them was definitely a guy. He was dressed as a fireman.”
VW: “And the other one?”
DT: “I'd say probably. I think we was dressed as a construction worker … or maybe an Indian. The big one grabbed me under my arms and the other guy – maybe he was a guy – grabbed me between my legs.”
VW: And they pulled you out of the lobby?”
DT: Wait. I was … I think I was already out of the lobby.”
VW: “When the other guy grabbed you between ...”
DT: “Maybe the other one wasn't ...”
VW: “So how far out of the lobby were you when the 'guys' grabbed …?”
DT: “Pretty close by. I remember a sign over on my right. Strand something.”
VW: “Ah, yes. The Strand Bookstore ...”
DT: “That's right.”
VW: “... on Broadway and Twelfth Street. That's about four miles from where the towers ...”
DT: “Well, there was a lot of smoke and shit and … Wait. I might be wrong. Maybe that was after ...”
VW: “After what? After you hailed a cab and ...”
DT: “I don't hail cabs. I have a chauffeured limo to … uh … I mean ...”
VW: “ … or was this after you were in Jersey City and saw Muslim people cheering the attacks ...”
DT: “No that was after … I mean before … wait.”
VW: “And why would you ever go to ...”
DT: “I'd never go to Jersey City. Never have. I mean I saw pictures of ...”
VW: “And how do you explain the four-figure bill you ran up when you phoned Alain Ducasse at the Essex House on Central Park South and placed a gigantic order for delivery to LaGuardia Airport?”
DT: “I ...”
VW “Or demanding that you allow the LaGuardia tower to let your VP-BDJ Boeing 727 take off for Florida that night when every plane in the country was grounded?”
DT: “I thought I ...”
VW: “How many friends in the World Trade Center did you lose that day? Name two.”
DT: “Okay, okay. I was dating Melania back then and we were … we spent the whole day and night and the next day in the plane parked at LaGuardia. We had the shades down and I gave the pilot Monday and Tuesday off and ...”
VW: “So you're saying you didn't find out about nine-eleven until nine-twelve?”
DT: “Maybe nine-thirteen. I mean Melania claimed she was interested in having sex with me back then and ...”
VW: “So everything you've ever said about nine-eleven is … what? A lie? How you say, bullshit?
DT: “Well, I was right except for maybe a few details about that ...”
VW: “A few details? So what details did you get wrong in the telling of nine-eleven?”
DT: “Um, well, like, uh, Melania? She was already having, y'know, 'headaches' by then and wouldn't even give me a ...”
(Recording ends)
lowittlowdown 