Category Archives: Uncategorized

By BRUCE LOWITT The visit Friday by Vice President JD Vance and his mail-order bride, Usha, to Greenland didn’t go as well as planned, a U.S. government spokesperson said, “starting with their arrival at Pituffik Space Base, when Usha Vance kept saying ‘pitty-fuck’ as she and her husband deplaned.”When Vance tried to correct his wifeContinue reading “Vance: Red-faced in Greenland”

By BRUCE LOWITT Partial transcript of the TikTok group chat involving President Donald Trump, Vice President JD Vance, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, Senior Trump Advisor Stephen Miller, National Security Advisor Michael Waltz and others conducted March 25 in a SCIF (Stupidly Concocted Inept Forum): President Trump: “… but before we talk about invading Iceland, I’dContinue reading “SIGNALS Crossed”

By BRUCE LOWITT Taking his love for the poorly educated to the next level, President Donald Trump signed an executive order Thursday to begin the dismantling of the Department of Education “because everyone in America has the right to be stupid.” Trump reportedly admitted privately last week to a close friend that his BS degreeContinue reading “Get Smart? Not Likely”

By BRUCE LOWITT The New York Yankees, who came within three victories last year of winning their 28th World Series (okay, they lost in five games to the Los Angeles Dodgers), entered 2025 with high hopes of ending a world championship drought dating back to 2009. But this season hasn’t gone as well as expected.Continue reading “Yankees: heading south”

By BRUCE LOWITT Police in Fort Worth, Texas, responding to multiple calls Monday from angry residents in the affluent Park Hill neighborhood, surrounded the home of Mark and Brooke Rollins on Winton Terrace West to quell what Police Chief Neil Noakes described as a “potential political poultry problem.” Brooke Rollins, President Donald Trump’s Secretary ofContinue reading “Spring chickens? NIMBY”

By BRUCE LOWITT Vice President JD Vance lost his emergency appeal Monday to the U.S. Supreme Court following his surprise weekend firing by Donald Trump as the justices, by a 7-2 vote, agreed with the president’s claim that Vance exhibited “inefficiency, neglect of duty, and malfeasance in office.” But the court also agreed, in anContinue reading “Vice in extremis: no defense”

By BRUCE LOWITT Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, infuriated by the dismissive and insulting behavior against him Friday in the White House, declared war Saturday on President Donald Trump and the United States. He received the nearly unanimous immediate backing of NATO, and early reports confirmed significant gains by forces under Ukrainian Commander-in-Chief Col. Gen. OleksandrContinue reading “Big mistake, Donald. Huge!”

By BRUCE LOWITT President Donald Trump signed an executive order Friday designating English as the official language of the United States and bullshit as the official language of the White House. “Lets face it, ninety-five percent of what I say is one hundred percent crap,” Trump said in an inadvertent moment of candor. “Greenland? TheContinue reading “Trump: Watch my language”

By BRUCE LOWITT When Sen. Mitch McConnell, R-Carapace, announced he wouldn’t seek reelection next year, numerous Republican legislators expressed surprise, saying they thought the former Kentucky coal miner had actually died last year. McConnell used his 83rd birthday Thursday to reveal that he had, in fact, been alive for the 2024 campaign and election ofContinue reading “Mitch’s final shell game”