Category Archives: Uncategorized

By BRUCE LOWITT Vice President JD Vance lost his emergency appeal Monday to the U.S. Supreme Court following his surprise weekend firing by Donald Trump as the justices, by a 7-2 vote, agreed with the president’s claim that Vance exhibited “inefficiency, neglect of duty, and malfeasance in office.” But the court also agreed, in anContinue reading “Vice in extremis: no defense”

By BRUCE LOWITT Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, infuriated by the dismissive and insulting behavior against him Friday in the White House, declared war Saturday on President Donald Trump and the United States. He received the nearly unanimous immediate backing of NATO, and early reports confirmed significant gains by forces under Ukrainian Commander-in-Chief Col. Gen. OleksandrContinue reading “Big mistake, Donald. Huge!”

By BRUCE LOWITT President Donald Trump signed an executive order Friday designating English as the official language of the United States and bullshit as the official language of the White House. “Lets face it, ninety-five percent of what I say is one hundred percent crap,” Trump said in an inadvertent moment of candor. “Greenland? TheContinue reading “Trump: Watch my language”

By BRUCE LOWITT When Sen. Mitch McConnell, R-Carapace, announced he wouldn’t seek reelection next year, numerous Republican legislators expressed surprise, saying they thought the former Kentucky coal miner had actually died last year. McConnell used his 83rd birthday Thursday to reveal that he had, in fact, been alive for the 2024 campaign and election ofContinue reading “Mitch’s final shell game”

By BRUCE LOWITT In a case of potential collusion almost guaranteed to wind up in federal court, all but one of the 32 National Football League teams have decided – separately and not in concert, they insist – to avoid picking up the phone when Aaron Rodgers’ name appears on their Caller ID.“Why the hellContinue reading ““Hi, it’s Aaron Rodg … Hello? Hello?””

By BRUCE LOWITT Embattled New York City Mayor Eric Adams was appointed Wednesday by President Donald Trump to the newly created post of Deputy Executive Assistant Vice President after Adams resigned his office following the resignations by four of his deputy mayors and the rest of his staff at both City Hall and his GracieContinue reading “Eric Adams: into the abyss”

By BRUCE LOWITT With the NBA All-Star weekend “sucking as much if not more than the Washington Wizards,” Commissioner Adam Silver said Monday, the league and Qatari-owned beIN Sports USA, the only channel willing to pay anything to televise the events, will make drastic changes to next year’s, highlighted by Curry Roulette and a barebackContinue reading “NBA All-Star Game: a makeover”

By BRUCE LOWITT Robert F. Kennedy Jr., confirmed by the Senate Thursday as health and human services secretary, was briefly hospitalized when he refused medication to counter the rabies symptoms he experienced during a celebratory lunch with Sen. Cynthia Lummis, R-Cryptoqueen, in her Washington, D.C., office.Lummis, an avid hunter of anything in Wyoming with fourContinue reading “RFK Jr.: bearly confirmed”

By BRUCE LOWITT House Republicans released a budget resolution Wednesday calling for $100-trillion in tax cuts for people earning over $1-million, plus eliminating all military spending, shuttering a dozen federal agencies, increasing the debt ceiling by $50-trillion, and requiring all remaining federal employees to drive Teslas bought and paid for with profits from the government’sContinue reading “A dollar here, a dollar there”

By BRUCE LOWITT Partial transcript of a debate among King Farouk I of Egypt, President Shukri Kuwatly of Syria, President Bechara Khoury of Lebanon, King Abdullah of Jordan and King Faisal II of Iraq on the evening of May 14, 1948, minutes after David Ben-Gurion proclaimed the establishment of the State of Israel: Abdullah: “…Continue reading “Palestine Solutions: Then and Now”