Category Archives: Uncategorized

The latest developments since the U.S. Senate acquitted Donald J. Trump, former president, of incitement of insurrection in the wake of the storming of the Capitol by thousands of his supporters: Sen. Mitch McConnell, R-Vacillate, was sequestered with aides, combing through the U.S. Constitution as well as Senate rules to determine if he could legallyContinue reading “The Aftermath”

The Kansas City Chiefs have filed suit against the National Football League, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and their quarterback, Tom Brady, and Raymond James Stadium to overturn the result of Super Bowl LV. “The game was rigged. It was a Democratic scheme,” said David Schoen, lead attorney for the Chiefs, taking a break from preparingContinue reading “Chiefs: We lost to the Dems, not the Bucs”

The United States Senate will vote by secret ballot whether to convict or acquit former President Donald J. Trump of incitement of insurrection because “we don’t want to get, uh, ‘punished’ by Qanon rioters,” according to Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Quisling. “Not that I’d vote against our great leader who as far as I’m concerned isContinue reading “Cruz: a secret ballot saves our butts”

The Super Bowl Experience, which had something of a “test run” last week along Tampa’s Hillsborough River, reopens the days before and after next Sunday’s NFL championship – with some slight alterations and explanations. The huge Super Bowl LV signs, in and around Raymond James Stadium and so prevalent throughout Tampa, are being removed because,Continue reading “A Super Bowl Experience to forget”

The secretly recorded transcript of the meeting Thursday between Rep. Kevin McCarthy, R-Sycophant, and Donald J. Trump at the former president’s golf course near Mar-a-Lago. (Sound of shrubbery rustling to the left of the third tee)Kevin McCarthy: “Mr. President?”Donald Trump: “In here. It was a practice swing. Doesn’t count.”KM: “Uh, it’s Kevin McCarthy, not yourContinue reading “The Minority Leader-Former POTUS Summit”

Pete Rose was laughing as he counted his winnings when sports writers caught up with him in Las Vegas as he collected fistfuls of bills from forlorn-looking bettors. “I knew it. I knew it. I knew it,” baseball’s all-time hits leader (among his various records and achievements) cackled when the Hall of Fame voting wasContinue reading “Schilling didn’t make it and Rose knew it”

Team captain Steven Stamkos and goaltender Andrei Vasilevskiy apparently are in Tampa Bay Lightning General Manager Julien BriseBois’ doghouse. “When something like this happens to us – something that should never happen to us – it’s a nightmare,” BriseBois shouted in an otherwise funereal locker room Saturday after the Lightning lost a game for theContinue reading “Tampa Bay Lightning in turmoil”

As the inauguration ceremonies of President Joseph R. Biden drew to a close, Vice President Kamala Harris sidled up to her predecessor. “Have you heard from Trump?” she asked Mike Pence. “Who?” “Donald.” “Who?” “Oh, I get it,” Harris said, and she and Pence laughed at the thought that the former president of the UnitedContinue reading “Trump decides to run … away”

Donald Trump is desperately trying to find a National Football League coach to accept the increasingly unprestigious Presidential Medal of Freedom after the New England Patriots’ Bill Belichick turned down the award. “There’s got to be another head coach out there who admits he still likes me and wants the medal,” the president said afterContinue reading “Anyone want a Presidential Medal?”

Soon-to-be-former President Donald Trump plans to split the GOP, taking with him his most ardent supporters to form a new political party called the Special Republican Guard (SRG). “I got this idea when Steve (Stephen Miller, the president’s senior policy adviser and deputy assistant undersecretary of vampires) told me he was reading a book aboutContinue reading “Breaking bad: Trump’s latest policy shift”