Author Archives: lowittlowdown

By BRUCE LOWITT The New York Yankees, who came within three victories last year of winning their 28th World Series (okay, they lost in five games to the Los Angeles Dodgers), entered 2025 with high hopes of ending a world championship drought dating back to 2009. But this season hasn’t gone as well as expected.Continue reading “Yankees: heading south”

By BRUCE LOWITT Police in Fort Worth, Texas, responding to multiple calls Monday from angry residents in the affluent Park Hill neighborhood, surrounded the home of Mark and Brooke Rollins on Winton Terrace West to quell what Police Chief Neil Noakes described as a “potential political poultry problem.” Brooke Rollins, President Donald Trump’s Secretary ofContinue reading “Spring chickens? NIMBY”

By BRUCE LOWITT Vice President JD Vance lost his emergency appeal Monday to the U.S. Supreme Court following his surprise weekend firing by Donald Trump as the justices, by a 7-2 vote, agreed with the president’s claim that Vance exhibited “inefficiency, neglect of duty, and malfeasance in office.” But the court also agreed, in anContinue reading “Vice in extremis: no defense”

By BRUCE LOWITT Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, infuriated by the dismissive and insulting behavior against him Friday in the White House, declared war Saturday on President Donald Trump and the United States. He received the nearly unanimous immediate backing of NATO, and early reports confirmed significant gains by forces under Ukrainian Commander-in-Chief Col. Gen. OleksandrContinue reading “Big mistake, Donald. Huge!”

By BRUCE LOWITT President Donald Trump signed an executive order Friday designating English as the official language of the United States and bullshit as the official language of the White House. “Lets face it, ninety-five percent of what I say is one hundred percent crap,” Trump said in an inadvertent moment of candor. “Greenland? TheContinue reading “Trump: Watch my language”

By BRUCE LOWITT When Sen. Mitch McConnell, R-Carapace, announced he wouldn’t seek reelection next year, numerous Republican legislators expressed surprise, saying they thought the former Kentucky coal miner had actually died last year. McConnell used his 83rd birthday Thursday to reveal that he had, in fact, been alive for the 2024 campaign and election ofContinue reading “Mitch’s final shell game”

By BRUCE LOWITT In a case of potential collusion almost guaranteed to wind up in federal court, all but one of the 32 National Football League teams have decided – separately and not in concert, they insist – to avoid picking up the phone when Aaron Rodgers’ name appears on their Caller ID.“Why the hellContinue reading ““Hi, it’s Aaron Rodg … Hello? Hello?””

By BRUCE LOWITT Embattled New York City Mayor Eric Adams was appointed Wednesday by President Donald Trump to the newly created post of Deputy Executive Assistant Vice President after Adams resigned his office following the resignations by four of his deputy mayors and the rest of his staff at both City Hall and his GracieContinue reading “Eric Adams: into the abyss”

By BRUCE LOWITT With the NBA All-Star weekend “sucking as much if not more than the Washington Wizards,” Commissioner Adam Silver said Monday, the league and Qatari-owned beIN Sports USA, the only channel willing to pay anything to televise the events, will make drastic changes to next year’s, highlighted by Curry Roulette and a barebackContinue reading “NBA All-Star Game: a makeover”