Author Archives: lowittlowdown

By BRUCE LOWITT President Donald Trump, thrilled by the response of his army of knuckle-dragging mouth breathers to the announcement that he will stage a UFC fight on the White House grounds during the 2026 celebration of the 250th anniversary of the United States, said he will expand the event to include additional activities, “includingContinue reading “Trump: Thumbs Down”

By BRUCE LOWITT Donald Trump insists he is not violating any clauses or amendments of the United States Constitution “because I have the best skin of any president in history – no one has ever seen skin like mine – and I make my own lotions and ointments and have developed my own special cosmeticContinue reading “As soft as a president’s brain”

By BRUCE LOWITT CNN news anchor Jake Tapper and Axios reporter Alex Thompson admit they knew “all sorts of bad stuff” about then-President Joe Biden’s physical and mental problems during the run-up to the 2024 election but, Tapper said, they kept it to themselves “so the book we were working on about him wouldn’t be,Continue reading “Unoriginal Sin: Keeping Secrets”

By BRUCE LOWITT Quarterback Aaron Rodgers has called an audible, switching signals by telling the Pittsburgh Steelers, the New York Giants “and any other National Football League team interested in signing me” that he wants his final season to end with another Super Bowl victory “and I won’t join any club that’s not a runawayContinue reading “Mister Rodgers, stay out of our neighborhood”

By BRUCE LOWITT (Partial transcript of the Supreme Court hearing broadcast on National Public Radio on two related portions of birthright citizenship cases – whether a federal judge has the power to block President Donald Trump’s executive order ending it, and whether a district court judge’s ruling could be enforced anywhere in the United States,Continue reading “Courting the citizenry”

By BRUCE LOWITT Baseball Commissioner Rob Manfred’s decision to reinstate the Hall of Fame candidacy of Pete Rose and other deceased major leaguers has caused what the late Bart Giamatti called from the afterlife “a shitstorm of disagreements up here and, I imagine, down there as well.” Rose, the majors’ all-time hits leader, agreed inContinue reading “Rose is risen”

By BRUCE LOWITT A look back at the first and last season of Bill Belichick as UNC head football coach and Jordan Hudson as his girlfriend. May 14: Three days after finishing as second runner-up in the Miss Maine USA Pageant, and first runner-up in 2024, Jordan Hudson blamed her third-place finish on the failureContinue reading “Hudson, baying”

By BRUCE LOWITTRon DeSantis has admitted privately that he ginned up a scandal which has enveloped his wife and probably derailed her plan to run for governor of Florida, succeeding him in 2026.Casey DeSantis, whose principal political experience has been sleeping with the governor occasionally since September 26, 2009, when they were married – ironicallyContinue reading “Hope for the wicked”

By BRUCE LOWITTThe 100th day of Donald Trump’s second presidency ends Tuesday, and multiple polls on his performance show his approval ratings on the economy, immigration and numerous other policies sliding below that of gangrene, gonorrhea and Elon Musk.Trump’s approval rating was at 6% when voters were asked, “Who would you want to manage theContinue reading “Poll-axed”

By BRUCE LOWITT President Donald Trump said he and first lady Melania will attend the funeral Saturday of Pope Francis at the Vatican, and announced that a limited number of $500,000 seats will be available for purchase to join him on the Air Force One flight and at the services. “It is in times likeContinue reading “The POTUS and The Pontiff”