Author Archives: lowittlowdown

The Committee for the Ruination of Major League Baseball has added “bonus runs” and a few more wrinkles to the 2021 minor-league season’s additional rules in an attempt to speed up the game. “Whenever a player hits a home run, his trip around the bases will be timed,” Michael Hill, MLB Senior Vice President ofContinue reading “Baseball: faster, maybe; dumber, definitely”

With more parents, teachers, politicians and other children choosing up sides on whether to “spring forward” and “fall back,” changing our clocks twice a year, Sen. Susan Collins, R-Wishywashy, has submitted a bill which she said will satisfy people on both sides of the argument. “I call it the Sunrise-Moonlight Preservation Act,” the extraordinarily indecisiveContinue reading “Time is on Collins’ side – but which side?”

Now that vaccinated grandparents desperate to hug their grandchildren have been given the go-ahead by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention after months of being limited to phone calls and Zooming, seniors from coast to coast are wondering what to bring the tykes for their first in-person visit. The toy industry is coming toContinue reading “Hey, kids, look what the ‘grands’ brought you”

The revelation that Donald and Melania Trump were vaccinated during the last days of his presidency has resulted in a flood of white supremacists, neo-Nazis and other hate groups demanding shots to protect them from the coronavirus. Trump urged what he called “my right-wingers and other wingnuts” at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) toContinue reading “Good shot, bad shot; depends who you ask”

Donald Trump has listed the White House as a $78-million loss and claimed the other 4,498 U.S. residents named Trump as dependents, according to his federal income tax returns. “When Melania and I moved into 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue that place was a dump,” the former president said. “We poured a ton of money into itContinue reading “A dollar here, a dollar there. It all adds up.”

Despite a 16-car pileup early in the 63rd running of the Daytona 500 and a fiery last-lap crash in the rain-plagued event that ended after midnight Sunday, driverless “robot cars” will not be allowed in future races. NASCAR chairman and chief executive officer Jim France said that although advances in automotive technology could make racingContinue reading “Driverless cars? No ‘bots’ about it”

The latest developments since the U.S. Senate acquitted Donald J. Trump, former president, of incitement of insurrection in the wake of the storming of the Capitol by thousands of his supporters: Sen. Mitch McConnell, R-Vacillate, was sequestered with aides, combing through the U.S. Constitution as well as Senate rules to determine if he could legallyContinue reading “The Aftermath”

The Kansas City Chiefs have filed suit against the National Football League, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and their quarterback, Tom Brady, and Raymond James Stadium to overturn the result of Super Bowl LV. “The game was rigged. It was a Democratic scheme,” said David Schoen, lead attorney for the Chiefs, taking a break from preparingContinue reading “Chiefs: We lost to the Dems, not the Bucs”

The United States Senate will vote by secret ballot whether to convict or acquit former President Donald J. Trump of incitement of insurrection because “we don’t want to get, uh, ‘punished’ by Qanon rioters,” according to Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Quisling. “Not that I’d vote against our great leader who as far as I’m concerned isContinue reading “Cruz: a secret ballot saves our butts”

The Super Bowl Experience, which had something of a “test run” last week along Tampa’s Hillsborough River, reopens the days before and after next Sunday’s NFL championship – with some slight alterations and explanations. The huge Super Bowl LV signs, in and around Raymond James Stadium and so prevalent throughout Tampa, are being removed because,Continue reading “A Super Bowl Experience to forget”