Author Archives: lowittlowdown

As happens every year, there are films passed over for Oscar nominations by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, some of which are deserving of consideration. Then there are movies no one should ever even think of seeing – and you can thank your lucky stars if you didn’t accidentally view any ofContinue reading “The biggest waste of footage since the invention of the centipede”

In his strongest response yet to American election interference, President Joseph R. Biden revoked the diplomatic license plates of all 517 Russians assigned to their five consulates in the United States. “I’m not kicking them out,” Biden told a news conference. “But those plates are like gold, man. I mean, they never get parking ticketsContinue reading “To Russia with love: no license to park”

Jerry Falwell Jr. has filed a counter-suit against Liberty University, using a “you-didn’t-ask” defense against the school’s claim that its former president and chancellor withheld details of a personal scandal and enriched himself before the two parted ways last year. According to the complaint filed in Lynchburg, Va., Circuit Court, the university is seeking more thanContinue reading “Morality play or legal ploy?”

When Masters champion Hideki Matsuyama became the first man from Japan to win a major golf tournament, he sent commentators and fans scurrying to the record books to find other “firsts” in sports. Who knew that: Although there have been nearly two dozen South Koreans to play Major League Baseball, starting with pitcher Chan-ho ParkContinue reading ““First” isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be”

In a stunning development, Florida Rep. Matt Gaetz announced his candidacy for the Republican nomination for president in 2024, turning on Donald Trump, the man he has slavishly backed for the past five years. “I finally learned my lesson,” Gaetz, R-Nubile, said during an address before the Miami Beach chapter of The Baby-Sitters Club. “YouContinue reading “The Gates of Hell: the Hell of Gaetz”

Major League Baseball’s decision to pull this year’s All-Star Game out of Atlanta has triggered an avalanche of similar moves in response to Georgia’s voter-suppression laws. “I’m sure Atlanta Braves fans will be disappointed,” Commissioner Rob Manfred said, “but we’ve ordered the franchise moved to Buffalo for the foreseeable future, starting with Friday night’s homeContinue reading “MLB’s All-Star Game decision was only the beginning”

Warner Bros., cashing in on the popularity of its just-released big-budget monster movie, has signed its director, Adam Wingard, to helm its next major motion-picture production, Godzilla and Kong vs. the GOP. “Normally we have one or two so-called villains in the Godzilla films,” Wingard said, “but in this production there’ll be a plethora ofContinue reading “… and you thought these two were monsters?”

After first barring overseas spectators from attending the Tokyo Olympics and Paralympics due to the COVID-19 pandemic, the Japanese government and the Summer Games’ Organizing Committee have decided to bar overseas athletes as well. “The fact that they are not able to attend the Games from abroad, that is both disappointing and regrettable,” Seiko Hashimoto,Continue reading “The Olympics will be downsized this year”

The Committee for the Ruination of Major League Baseball has added “bonus runs” and a few more wrinkles to the 2021 minor-league season’s additional rules in an attempt to speed up the game. “Whenever a player hits a home run, his trip around the bases will be timed,” Michael Hill, MLB Senior Vice President ofContinue reading “Baseball: faster, maybe; dumber, definitely”

With more parents, teachers, politicians and other children choosing up sides on whether to “spring forward” and “fall back,” changing our clocks twice a year, Sen. Susan Collins, R-Wishywashy, has submitted a bill which she said will satisfy people on both sides of the argument. “I call it the Sunrise-Moonlight Preservation Act,” the extraordinarily indecisiveContinue reading “Time is on Collins’ side – but which side?”