By BRUCE LOWITT
An enormous student rally, with a bonfire at Kenan Memorial Stadium and a celebratory parade along Franklin Street from the University of North Carolina campus to downtown Chapel Hill, was cut short Saturday when it turned out Bill Belichick hadn’t resigned as the Tar Heels’ head football coach.
To the dismay of the rally’s organizers, it was Bill Belichick’s son, Steve, the team’s defensive coordinator, who resigned, effective Oct. 27, at the end of medical leave he has been on since the start of the season.
He leaves following an investigation into allegations concerning the football program’s “culture and climate” under his father.
“Turns out there is no culture,” UNC Athletic Director Steve Newmark told a news conference, “unless you consider chicken and waffles, whole-hog barbecue, and hot glazed doughnuts to be the height of refinement around here.
“And the climate is generally sweaty, especially if you bet on the Heels to cover the spread,” Newmark added following UNC’s 28-20 loss Saturday at Clemson, thereby failing to cover for the eighth time since the start of the 2025 season.
With Steve Belichick out, his younger brother, Brian, was promoted from safeties coach and part-time Chick-fil-A fry cook to run the defense, which gave away a 14-point first-half lead. Or maybe it was the inability of Bill Belichick’s offense to come up with more than three second-half points.
The investigation into Steve Belichick involved whether he used drugs at team facilities or supplied drugs to a player.
“Listen,” he said, “you try being an assistant coach on a mediocre team under a 74-year-old mediocre head coach who won’t even accept a dinner invitation from my wife to spend time with his grandchildren. I’d say drug use around here is the least of the problems, wouldn’t you?”
UNC Student Body Vice President Ben Jones said the bonfire and rest of the previous rally has been rescheduled for later this week – and changed from a celebration to a Bill Must Go! Steve Must Stay! student uprising.
“We’ve lost eight in a row to the Tigers, thirteen of the past fifteen, and most of them by two touchdowns or more,” Jones said. “I think it’s appropriate to keep Steve Belichick on staff for the, um, pacification of our classmates. I mean, Chapel Hill isn’t exactly the Sinaloa of the Carolinas and he’s probably the best supplier. And what he does best obviously is a hell of a lot better than what his daddy does best.”
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