Trump: Droning On

By BRUCE LOWITT

President Donald Trump has downplayed the gravity of Russia’s flying drones over California and Illinois on Sunday, suggesting it was either a mistake or “my pal Vladimir Putin wanting to provide us help with how we deal with crowds of anti-government protestors, since he has a lot of experience.”

The incursion into United States air space comes on the heels of Russia’s flying drones over Poland and Romania, actions which critics said were tests of NATO’s resolve to defend itself. Supporters downplayed the incident and Trump claimed it was “part of Putin’s get-out-the-vote campaign, if you saw the banners on the drones,” although no banners were visible and the Russian president can remain in office untl 2036.

Ever since the Aug. 15 Trump-Putin summit in Alaska, former Trump national security advisor John Bolton said in a social media post, “Putin has been doing whatever the fuck he wants and my former boss in the White House has been acting like a Ragamuffin, an American Wirehair, a British Shorthair – in other words, a goddamned pussy.”

“Trump demanded a ceasefire,” Bolton said. “Putin said, ‘Eat me.’ Trump said he’d increase sanctions against Russia. Putin said, ‘Blow me.’ Trump said, ‘Can I borrow your handkerchief when I’m finished?’ I mean, holy crap!”

Last Friday, when Fox & Friends co-host Ainsley Earhardt asked Trump in an in-studio interview about Russia’s increasing attacks against Ukraine, the president said, “I heard about them and if the Russians keep it up much longer I’m going to be very unhappy and I’ll let Vladimir know how I feel and I’m sure he’ll take it very seriously and maybe even think about cutting back on the bombing of hospitals and schools and then not cut back … that Vladi!”

Trump also said he would consider adding “major sanctions against NATO if it continues to buy anything from Russia, including oil, wheat, caviar, vodka, and those Metraski … Mortrus … Mytris … those fucking wooden nesting dolls,” he snarled, failing to correctly pronounce Матрешка (Matryoshka). “I can never put them back together the right way.”

Polling in August by the Russian independent non-governmental Levada Center found that a record-high 66 percent of Russians support peace talks to end the war in Ukraine and a record-low 27 percent favor continuing it. At the same time, the poll showed that 58 percent of Russians think Trump is a yutz, 81 percent think he’s a putz, and 99 percent think he’s both.