The Open: Closed to Rory and Tiger

By BRUCE LOWITT

Rory McIlroy celebrated missing the cut at the British Open by jumping in front of a speeding car driven by Tiger Woods Saturday as they left the Royal Troon Golf Club – and Woods, who had missed most of his shots for two days and also missed the cut, missed McIlroy as well.

“Well, at least it wasn’t as much of a tubaiste as Pinehurst,” said McIlroy, who suffered only minor injuries, the worst of which was a broken left foot when Woods, who also missed the cut at the PGA Championship and U.S. Open after finishing 60^th at the Masters, shifted into reverse and backed up over McIlroy.

Five weekends ago, McIlroy led the U.S. Open at Pinehurst in North Carolina by two strokes with five holes to play, then bogeyed three of them, including a four-foot putt that lipped the cup at No. 18.

After Bryson DeChambeau drilled his winning putt at the U.S. Open, McIlroy walked back to the 18^th hole and puked into it. “At least I sank something on this one,” he said, wiping his chin.

McIlroy followed Thursday’s opening-round seven-over-par 78 with a four-over-75 Friday, missing the cut at the British Open for the first time since 2019. “Now that I think of it,” he said, “I shouldn’t have bothered unpacking my luggage when I got here. Hell, I was like a dozen over par halfway through my last practice round.”

His 11-over-par two rounds left McIlroy six shots short of making the cut and failing to win any major since the 2014 PGA. “Right now I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to tap the ball through a clown’s mouth on a putt-putt course,” he said. “But at least I beat Tiger’s 14-over by three strokes. Now that I think of it, maybe that’s how come my left foot wound up under his right rear wheel.”

“I don’t want to say the British Open gives me trouble,” McIlroy added, “but I missed not only the cut but the chauffeured limo that was supposed to bring me to the course yesterday morning, and breakfast ’cause I got to here late, and the urinal in the clubhouse when I suddenly had to, um, go. I apologize to whoever had to clean up after me.”

DeChambeau, at 9-over for the two rounds, missed the cut by three strokes, “but at least I beat Rory again,” he said. “I hope we get paired in a few majors next year. I bet he’ll spend them with one eye on his own, heh-heh, balls and the other one on mine.”