Rudy 000: Licensed to do nothing

By BRUCE LOWITT

Rudy Giuliani lost his New York law license and just about everything else except his underwear on Tuesday.

The former star federal prosecutor, once hailed as “America’s Mayor” for his leadership in the wake of the 2001 attack on the World Trade Center in New York City, Giuliani spent the past few years as the “before” character in commercials for hair-replacement companies and failing tooth-straightening products.

His fall from grace began when he took on the job of former President Donald Trump’s mouthpiece, a role for which his mouth was woefully unprepared, as was his brain.

Acting as the leading co-conspirator in Trump’s plot to overthrow the election of President Joe Biden, Giuliani claimed repeatedly that the 2020 election had been stolen from the former president.

The New York State Court of Appeals disbarred Giuliani, saying he “baselessly attacked and undermined the integrity of this country’s electoral process” and “actively contributed to the national strife that has followed the 2020 presidential election, for which he is entirely unrepentant.”

Giuliani, a former U.S. attorney for the Southern District of New York, said he would appeal the decision “as soon as I can find a lawyer stupid enough to take the case pro bono.”

Moments after the court of appeals announcement, the New York State Liquor Authority sent representatives to post Giuliani’s picture in wine and liquor stores and bars and nightclubs, ordering that he be banned from the premises or lose their liquor license.

“To let this guy drink anywhere in public, or even in private, would exacerbate what is already a problem we have,” SLA Commissioner Lily Fan said. “Anonymous drunk people throwing up in the streets is one thing but a jerk as notorious as this guy just takes it to another level.”

Despite the NYSLA’s decision, the New York State Department of Motor Vehicles invalidated Giuliani’s driver’s license. “I wouldn’t want to be within a mile of Giuliani if he’s behind the wheel of anything larger than my granddaughter’s tiny tricycle,” DMV Commissioner Mark J.F. Schroeder said, suggesting the former governor use Ubers. “I mean, who asks for directions to the Copacabana nightclub in Manhattan when you’re parked halfway onto the sidewalk right in front of it?”

After his terms as New York City’s mayor, he briefly ran Giuliani Capital Advisors – and without even being asked, Michelle Lui, executive director of the Financial Management Association, sent a notice Tuesday to all members advising them to avoid certifying Giuliani “for anything even remotely having to do with capital, especially his own – if he ever manages to get his hands on any.”