Buy high, sell low, drop dead

By BRUCE LOWITT

The staff of THELOWITTLOWDOWN.COM is pleased to announce that it is launching a a phony social-media and religiously suspect website with the unabashed goal of suckering supporters of impeached and indicted former presidents into buying worthless nonexistent stock that will enable TheLowittLowdown company’s chairman, president, chief executive officer, chief operating officer and chief business officer (all of whom are the same person and, in fact, are the company’s entire staff) to rake in what the top executive’s poker buddy and friend since fifth grade at P.S. 200 in Bensonhust, Brooklyn, New York, calls “a freaking shitload of money.”

THELOWITTLOWDOWN.COM had hoped to trade on the Wyoming Stock Exchange and Moose Collective under the symbol WTF, only to discover that legitimate major corporations have been fighting over the symbol for years, and that ROLF, NSFW, LOL, DOA, DTF, and IDK also were unavailable. Further, DJT, while unavailable now, is likely to be freed up when an impeached and indicted former president, after pitching his stock to idiot savants who’ll buy anything anything from him including sneakers, bibles, meat, hats, wine, bobbleheads, refrigerator magnets, mugs, robes, hoodies, shirts, puzzles, blankets, air fresheners, daily planners, action figures and toilet paper, will unload all his stock, collecting millions while the poor schmucks who bought shares will discover their value has dropped to $0.02, leaving them more broke than a stagecoach that has fallen into Wyoming’s Wind River Canyon.

THELOWITTLOWDOWN.COM also plans to create a GoFundMe account, which readers should be aware will fund only me (see BYLINE at top of page) and which readers should understand is in no way a legitimate plea for financial assistance but rather is yet another joke and make-believe scam, one which an impeached and indicted former president may have not yet considered because to do so would suggest that he really does need charity, none of which he needs or is capable of offering or appreciating. In fact, since it has no name, address or phone number, the aforementioned GoFundMe account doesn’t exist and never will.

In conclusion, THELOWITTLOWDOWN.COM reiterates and insists that no money is being sought because that would be highly illegal, not to mention just plain dumb. Thank you for your (emotional) support.

The information furnished on this website is for entertainment purposes only. The information does not and should not be considered to constitute an offer to buy or sell securities. The information should not be relied upon by any person to make an investment decision. What are you, a fucking moron?