MTG: Introducing a motion with teeth

By BRUCE LOWITT

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene is expected to be released Monday from Floyd County Hospital near her Rome, Ga., home after treatment for a shattered jaw which she said she received “during a debate Friday with Mike Johnson.”

Greene, R-Bloodbath, reportedly was injured when she rushed the Speaker of the House after introducing a motion to vacate the chair. Johnson, R-Pussyfoot, said he was “only making a motion of my own” when his gavel struck the left side of Greene’s face.

Greene, who had consumed what aides said was “a moderate amount of moonshine” just prior to charging the well of the House, continued to shout, spitting blood and teeth, after falling on Johnson before being dragged back to her seat in the chamber.

The incident brought to a chaotic end the final session before the House shut down for the Easter recess. Greene apparently didn’t realize the extent of her injury for several minutes until she slumped in her chair while working her way through a bag of Bucee’s Beaver Nuggets.

She was flown overnight Friday to Richard B. Russell Regional Airport, eight miles from her Rome home, and admitted to Floyd County Hospital. A spokesman issued a statement Sunday saying Greene was “in stable condition, although that only refers to her physically. We can’t vouch for anything else going on with her – and please don’t tell her we said that.”

Johnson, meanwhile, is dealing with the rebellion by his own MAGA-based contingent of rabid Republicans suddenly intent on, as Rep. Matt Gaetz, R-Concubine, put it, “throwing Johnson’s ass in the same dump we heaved (Kevin) McCarthy’s.”

“We’ve got to find ourselves a speaker who will do exactly what we have to do to destroy … I mean restore … our government, someone who can unite our party,” Gaetz added.

Asked if he was interested in the speakership, Gaetz replied, “What’re you, fuckin’ crazy?”