The Crown Prince: “Here’s lookin’ at you, kid”

By BRUCE LOWITT

Morally and potentially financially bankrupt former president Donald Trump, with legal judgments of $542-million (and growing), is seeking $2-billion from Crown Prince and Prime Minister Mohammed bin Salman of Saudi Arabia in exchange for his daughter, Ivanka.

“Moe – that’s what I call him; we’re very close – told me he’s very interested in acquiring Ivanka,” Trump said. “He said she’s gorgeous, which she is, and that Sara bint Mashour, who he married sixteen years ago when she was thirty-five, is, as he put it, ‘starting to look like an old goat.’

“If I can swing this deal – and, frankly, Jared (Kushner) owes me for all the bedtime with her and the cash from me – I’ll be able to buy my way out of the near-bankruptcy I’m facing and establish myself as King of the Hudson River,” he said. “Yeah, there’s a hell of a lot of New Jersey coastline just begging for development by me.”

Trump denied he was still angry over Ivanka’s willingness to testify last November in the civil fraud trial that ruled Friday he must pay $355-million plus interest. He also said he wasn’t trying to send her to Saudi Arabia, which has no extradition treaty with the United States, ahead of his future trials, nor was he punishing her for refusing to be part of his presidential campaign.

“Look, I know she became one of them before she married Jared,” Trump said, “so if she could do that, she could just as easily become whatever the hell Moe is, or wants her to be.

“When I let Ivanka marry Jared – and I guarantee it wouldn’t have happened without my approval – he was already kind of rich from his father’s real-estate deals,” Trump said, “but he wouldn’t have become a billionaire without me sending him to grift in the Middle East, not to mention my Saudi connections.

“Also, I pardoned his crook of a father, so he owes me big time,” the twice-impeached, four-time indicted and likely Republican presidential candidate said.

“And when he married Ivanka, I’d already divorced not only her mother after thirteen years but Marla, wife number two, as well. By then I was closing in on sixty – and six years into my third marriage,” Trump said. “And he’s what? Forty-three? Plenty of time to hook up with another hottie or two, right?”