Trump has the right to remain silent. What are the odds?

By BRUCE LOWITT

The secretly recorded transcript of Donald Trump’s meeting with his attorneys prior to Tuesday’s court appearance at which a not-guilty plea was entered to special counsel Jack Smith’s 37-count indictment charging the former president with illegally retaining national security documents and obstruction of justice:

Trump: “You’re fired!”

Jim Trusty: “You can’t fire me. I quit four days ago. I’m just here to pick up the notes from our last meeting. Some good stuff in them, too.”

Trump: “Then you’re fired!”

John Rowley: “What Jim said. I also quit. We’re just …”

(Sound of many footsteps running)

Trump: “What the hell is that?”

(Sound of door opening)

Todd Blanche: “Wow! That’s the dozen or so other lawyers you fired running to get good seats in the courtroom.”

(Sound of door closing)

Trump: “Then who the f- …”

Blanche: “I am, although God knows why.”

Trump: “Okay, let’s get down to business. Have you taken care of her?”

Blanche: “Who?”

Trump: “Cannon. The judge. I assume she’s spent everything I gave her before she tried to get me off – let me rephrase that – the last time when she tried to help me beat the FBI.”

Blanche: “Wait. You can’t bribe a federal judge, Mr. Trump. You …”

Trump: “You’re fired!”

Blanche: “What the …”

Trump: “You have to call me Mr. President – and I can do whatever I want.”

Blanche: “I quit! See you in court.”

(Sound of door opening)

Blanche: “Guys, wait for me!”

(Sound of door closing)

Chris Kise: “I guess I’m up now, Mr. Tr- … Mr. President.”

Trump: “Where’s Alina?”

Kise: “Habba’s outside, ripping the Bidens, Garland, Jack Smith, the DOJ, the FBI, the CIA, MSNBC, CNN, the Times, the Post, the News, the Jews …”

Trump: “Why isn’t she in here? She’s one of my lawyers.”

Kise: “She can’t practice in Florida. Besides, she said she didn’t want to be with fifty feet of you since you grabbed her by the …”

Trump: “So I’m … Hold on. My phone. (click) Hello? … Hi, Marjorie. … No, I didn’t. … Yes, I appreciate what you’re trying to do but they confiscated the guns before I … No, they’ll find smaller ones, too. But thanks. (click) … So I’m stuck with you, Kyle? Is this the best I can do?”

Kise: “It’s Chris. Well, I am a veteran Florida litigator.”

Trump: “I know about Florida alligators. What’s a …”

Kise: “You don’t remember threatening to fire me last year over legal strategy, Mr. President? I tried to get Benedict Kuehne to represent you, but …”

Trump: “Who’s he?”

Kise: “A great Miami guy. Known for handling corruption cases. He got charged about fifteen years ago with money laundering and obstruction of justice …”

Trump: “My kind of guy.”

Kise: “But the government dropped the case.”

Trump: “I love him.”

Kise: “But he recently lost a civil trial defending the …”

Trump: “Fuck him. I don’t work with losers.”

Kise: “Doesn’t matter. He said no.”

Trump: “Well, what about this Jack Smith guy?”

Kise: “What about him?”

Trump: “I heard he’s a really incredible lawyer. Why can’t I hire him?”

Kise: “Um, well, he’s the Special Counsel who investigated you and got a grand jury to indict you … and he’s definitely not for sale.”

Trump: “Then I’m screwed?”

Kise: “Not necessarily. We have some options.”

Trump: “Like what?”

Kise: “An insanity defense.”

Trump: “Great idea. If we can show that the DOJ is nuts and the whole idea of going after me is …”

Kise: “No, that’s not how it works. I have to prove you’re nuts.”

Trump: “Well, that’s crazy!”

Kise: “Exactly. I mean, let me ask you something. A chandelier in the bathroom? Isn’t that a little, y’know …?”

Trump: “No, it’s not. What do you do when you’re taking a dump? I read all the congrats I get on Twitter and from the millions of people on Truth Social, and I need a good reading lamp. Besides, like I say, if you’ve got it, flaunt it.”

Kise: “Got it. Now let me ask if you ever invited anyone in to look at the …”

Trump: “One second. (click) Hello? … Thanks for calling back. Did you find any … None? Not even Russia? … No. … No. … No. … I told you, no shithole countries, even if they don’t have an extradition … Shit, there’s got to be someplace I can move to that’ll let me build a … Well, keep looking.” (click)

Kise: “Now Mr. President, can we …”

Trump: “Just a second. (click) Hello? … Hi, Kari. … You will? Great. Now here’s my plan. I win. Then, right after we get sworn in I resign, you take over, you pardon me for all … Yeah. I knew you had it figured out. See you at the convention. (click) Now where were we?”

(Sound of door opening)

(Unidentified voice): “You, with the orange hair. Get your ass in court!”

Kise: “Mr. President, just one last word of advice. You have the right to remain silent.”

Trump: “So?”

Kise: “So you want to have any chance of winning this case? Then shut up. Just shut the fuck up.”

(Sound of door closing)

(Transcript ends)