Santos: His word is his (junk) bond

By BRUCE LOWITT

Congressman-elect George Santos, having admitted to falsehoods about his education and employment history, said Tuesday he wants to “clarify a few more details about my life, including that my name actually is Sheila Jordan and that I’m Jim and Polly Jordan’s son.”

Santos, a Republican elected in November to represent parts of Queens and Long Island, said that despite the untruths he fabricated about himself before and during his campaign, “I am determined to take the oath of office on January third, although I will not be sworn in on a Bible because, well, you know.”

Jim Jordan, R-Whiteshirt, an Ohio Congressman since 2007, angrily denied Santos’ claim, insisting that “we’ll find out the truth as soon as we get our hands on Hunter Biden’s laptop.”

Polly Jordan, after saying she’d “do what Jim would do, namely take the fifth,” declined to be interviewed. Both declined to provide DNA samples.

Santos has claimed at times in the past to be born in Brazil, the United States, Canada or Argentina, that his maternal grandparents were distant relatives of Egyptian Pharaoh Rameses II and that “my dad was named after the river – y’know, Jordan – because back then Egypt’s border was right next to it. … There’s a pyramid over there with our name on it.”

He said he never claimed to be Jewish although when he learned that other distant relatives had a Jewish background he enrolled at Yeshiva University, intending to join the rabbinate, but was expelled after denying the existence of Sandy Koufax.

A biography on the National Republican Congressional Committee website said Santos attended both Baruch College and New York University and earned degrees in finance and economics. When the schools could find no records to verify his claims, he said that was because the paperwork had been shipped to Oxford University in England, where he said he he received a law degree as well as a knighthood, and to the Sorbonne in France, where he said he picked up a Nobel Prize in physics for splitting the neutron but left prior to graduation after allegedly propositioning theoretical physicist Alain Connes.

He denied making intentionally misleading statements about working for Goldman Sachs. “I had an appointment with Brian Lee, the chief risk officer. I was looking for a job. His secretary said he was running a bit late and would I mind waiting. I said no and spent about 20 minutes on my laptop. I never said I was working for Goldman Sachs. I said I was working at Goldman Sachs.”

Further, Santos was unable to explain how he went from owing thousands of dollars to creditors to being able to lend $700,000 to his campaign, claiming his taxes are under audit.

“And that business about me committing some crime? I’m not a criminal here – not here or in Brazil or any jurisdiction in the world,” he told the New York Post. “Like I told the police, the vault was empty, the rent-a-cop was unconscious and the tellers were locked in an office when I walked into the bank.”