Rodgers: Back to the Pack to extend his Super Bowl streak

Aaron Rodgers says he plans to quarterback the Green Bay Packers in 2022 in order to continue his current 12-season streak of failing to win a Super Bowl.

“I’ve talked at length various times about being comfortable walking away and just not playing,” Rodgers said. “I’m very proud of what I’ve accomplished in Green Bay the last 17 years, even winning Super Bowl 45 over Pittsburgh after the 2010 season.

“But that was so long ago. It’s almost like it never happened. And now I’ve got this run of misses going and I don’t want it to end. I mean, I’ve just passed (former Bills quarterback) Jim Kelly. He played 11 NFL seasons, never won a Super Bowl and he’s in the Hall of Fame. And there’s guys with a lot more misses than that.”

He mentioned Fran Tarkenton, who spent 18 seasons quarterbacking the Vikings and Giants, “and lost the only three Super Bowls he reached, and he’s in the Hall of Fame,” Rodgers said. And Dan Marino’s 17 seasons, “and he lost the only Super Bowl he played in, and he’s in the Hall of Fame.

“And Ken Anderson’s 16 seasons and Steve McNair’s 15 and each of them lost their only Super Bowl. And you want to talk about streaks,” Rodgers said. “How about Vinny Testaverde’s 21 seasons and Warren Moon’s 17 and Dan Fouts’ 15. Forget winning a Super Bowl. These poor bastards never even played in one.

“I mean, think about it. If it hadn’t been for the 2010 season I’d be one of those poor bastards, wondering if I could hang on for another four years to catch Vinny.”

Rodgers said he has assured the Packers he’s been immunized against the Omicron virus. “I took Hydroxychloroquine and Ivermectin last year and everybody sneered but I never got sick,” he said. “This year I’m making doubly sure I’ll be safe. I’ve already taken Androgynos and had my booster shot of Estrogen.”

Retirement was never a serious option, he said, “because once you hang it up, unless you’ve got the personality of a Peyton Manning or a Tony Romo, those commercials dry up faster than spit on a hot rock. Look, I know I’ve got the charisma of cardboard and if I’m not playing anymore, d’you think State Farm’s going to still want me when they can get Joe Burrow?”

The only other option, he said, was to wrap up his career elsewhere, but those choices were, for one reason or another, limited.

Joining the Buccaneers would be untenable because “following (Tom) Brady would be a no-win situation for me, just like following me, whenever that is, will be a no-win situation for Jordan Love. You think I don’t remember what it was like when I replaced (Brett) Favre?”

Rodgers also ruled out teams like the Chiefs, Bills, Cowboys and Cardinals, franchises on the cusp of a championship with a solid quarterback in place, “and the Steelers now that Big Ben has retired because I don’t want to spend 2022 getting the snot knocked out of me.”

“If I was ever going to change teams,” he added, “I’d be seriously looking at the Jaguars, the Panthers, the Jets, the Giants and the Texans, teams where no matter how bad I do I’d still be a hell of a lot better than whoever was taking the snaps before I showed up. And no matter which team it was, there’s no doubt in my mind it’d get me closer to Testaverde.”