No masks, no mandates, no survivors, no problem

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis has apologized to the Republican National Committee for killing off a significant portion of the party’s constituency – but insists he won’t change his mind on prohibiting anti-COVID mandates.

DeSantis has signed an executive order banning schools from requiring students to wear masks. “Kids should have the freedom to inhale whatever viruses or toxins they want, without interference from the government,” he said.

He insisted it comes down to which side the parents of elementary school children should believe: hundreds of scientists, physicians, nurses and pharmacists trained in the causes, effects and treatments of viruses or a politician who barely passed high school biology and whose sole goal seems to be winning re-election next year and the presidency in 2024.

“To me, it’s a no-brainer,” DeSantis said, failing to see the irony in that. “Freedom is what this is all about. I mean, think about it. For years our state has supported the right of motorcyclists to ride without helmets, giving them the freedom to become organ donors at a young age. Why should we deny preteens the same opportunity?

“Besides,” he added, “kids don’t vote, and I doubt that most of them will infect their parents, at least not badly enough to hospitalize them, so the effect on the election probably will be minimal. … As for the rest of the nation’s Republican electorate, well, we’re losing a lot of them but the gerrymandering the states’ legislatures are going to be doing will offset those losses.”

Former president Donald Trump lashed out at the Florida governor for what he called “an attempt to steal my thunder by stealing my policy. No masks, no mandates, that was my decision at the outset.”

In a rambling, occasionally incoherent speech before the Palm Beach Anti-Vaxxers Coalition, Trump said, “That guy DeSatan – that’s my new nickname for him; how do you like it? – hinted to me last month that he wouldn’t mind being my vice president. When I laughed in his face he said, ‘Well, I’ll show you,’ and started his own anti-mask, anti-mandate campaign the next morning.”

The governor, apprised of Trump’s attack, doubled down on his campaign and said in a statement released by his office that he is working on additional executive orders to further free Florida residents from what he called “the yoke of Democratic oppression.”

The statement, with DeSantis comments, said the executive orders will include:

*Home-alone children: “I know that girls and boys as young as two years old are naturally inquisitive, and adults preventing them from exploring the world around them on their own inhibits their development as well as their failing to learn the consequences of their actions.”

*Smoking: “The idea that tobacco causes cancer is a myth I’ve never believed and if Floridians want to look cool at the pool by inhaling carcinogens, who am I to deny them that pleasure?”

*Seat belts. “If drivers or passengers want to be able to get out of a vehicle while it is crashing, there should be no hindrance to that desire, and the higher, faster, and farther a person can get from a collision at the moment of impact, the better.”

*Speed limits. “We as a society have the absolute right to get where we’re going as quickly as possible with the least inconvenience and the idea that some agency of unelected officials can arbitrarily set restrictions on how fast we can get there is anathema to our civil rights.”