MLB’s All-Star Game decision was only the beginning

Major League Baseball’s decision to pull this year’s All-Star Game out of Atlanta has triggered an avalanche of similar moves in response to Georgia’s voter-suppression laws.

“I’m sure Atlanta Braves fans will be disappointed,” Commissioner Rob Manfred said, “but we’ve ordered the franchise moved to Buffalo for the foreseeable future, starting with Friday night’s home opener against Philadelphia. Fortunately the (Toronto) Blue Jays aren’t using Sahlen Field again this season.”

Further, he added, if Texas, Arizona, Florida and other states follow Georgia’s lead and pass voter suppression laws of their own, he has a plan to move their franchises as well.

“If necessary, we’ll relocate as many teams as necessary to New York and California, where they’ll play their full seasons – or we’ll have reduced Major League seasons if it comes to that – the way the 2020 postseason was conducted. The stadiums in New York City, Los Angeles, Anaheim, San Diego, Oakland and San Francisco will stage tripleheaders with games each morning, afternoon and evening.”

The Masters, golf’s most prestigious tournament, announced it is being moved “temporarily, at least,” to the Ekwanok Country Club in Manchester, Vt., Augusta National chairman Fred Ridley said.

“This year is the 40^th anniversary of our admitting, um, a ‘black gentleman’ as an Augusta member, although we did allow Lee Elder to compete in the 1975 Masters,” Ridley said. “So we thought it would be only right to tell our (state) legislature that it’s time to get with the program. And Vermont’s Green Mountains are gorgeous. Besides, if Tiger (Woods) is ever going to play golf again, we want him back here.”

National Basketball Association Commissioner Adam Silver apologized for holding his league’s All-Star Game March 7 at the home of the Atlanta Hawks.

“When (Georgia legislators) started introducing those disgusting bills in mid-February, we should’ve seen this unholy mess coming and gotten the hell out of the state,” Silver said. “But I’ve made a few inquiries and there’s an investment group in St. Louis that would like to get the Hawks back. I’m keeping our options open.”

National Football League Commissioner Roger Goodell said the next Super Bowl, scheduled for Feb. 6, 2022, in SoFi Stadium, home of the Los Angeles Rams and Chargers, “is safe, but I can’t say the same for the one after that. We’ll see just how badly Arizona politicians want Super Bowl 57 in Glendale. No reason we can’t move the game to Levi’s Stadium in San Francisco.”

The April 10-17 Monster Energy Supercross dirt bike racing championship pulled out of the Atlanta Motor Speedway and has been relocated just outside of Whittier, Calif., to Puentes Hills, the United States’ largest landfill.

“Thank goodness,” said Ed Clark, president and CEO of the speedway. “This saves us the aggravation of hauling in 1,900 tons of freakin’ dirt, then hauling it all out again.”