Author Archives: lowittlowdown

By BRUCE LOWITT All it took was eye of newt and toe of frog, wool of bat and tongue of dog, plus discarding his soul and conscience, visits by Rumpelstiltskin and the Wicked Witch of the West, letters of support from Vladimir Putin and Viktor Orban and a case of Stockholm Syndrome – and KevinContinue reading “McCarthy’s got game but no balls”

By BRUCE LOWITT Donald Trump, already steamed when 221 Republicans didn’t vote for him as Speaker of the House of Representatives, threw his cheeseburger, golf shoes and a folder of classified documents out a Mar-a-Lago window during a tantrum when Matt Gaetz, after initially nominating and voting for the former president, changed his mind andContinue reading “Trump: one and done, and so is the House”

By BRUCE LOWITT Kevin went to sleep with votes in his pocket and woke up with votes all over the floor. When he got out of the bed this morning, as he had the morning before, he tripped on his ego and by mistake he dropped his conscience in the sink with the water runningContinue reading “Kevin and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day”

By BRUCE LOWITT Congressman-elect George Santos, having admitted to falsehoods about his education and employment history, said Tuesday he wants to “clarify a few more details about my life, including that my name actually is Sheila Jordan and that I’m Jim and Polly Jordan’s son.” Santos, a Republican elected in November to represent parts ofContinue reading “Santos: His word is his (junk) bond”

By BRUCE LOWITT The New York Mets, frustrated by what team owner Steven A. Cohen called “our signing only some of the best players,” announced Saturday the purchase of the rest of the National League East Division for a reported $16.9-billion. “We considered buying the entire league,” Cohen said, “but decided the $35-billion price tagContinue reading “Meet the Mets’ new teammates”

By BRUCE LOWITT The United States Supreme Court, throwing out the findings by the House committee that investigated the Jan. 6 Capitol riot, said Tuesday that former President Donald Trump was not guilty of any of the criminal charges the committee referred to the Department of Justice because “he’s our guy.” In a 6-3 decision,Continue reading “SCOTUS: Trump’s not guilty, but not the House committee”

By BRUCE LOWITT Today they’re the Commanders. But if Gen. Mark A. Milley gets his way, Washington’s troubled National Football League franchise will be busted out of the officer corps and down to Seamen, one of the lowest ranks among the U.S. military’s enlisted personnel. “Think about it,” said Milley, Chairman of the Joint ChiefsContinue reading “Commanders? Not for long”

By BRUCE LOWITT House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy, concerned that he is well shy of the 218 votes he’ll need to take over the speakership when Republicans become the majority in January, is meeting with members whose primary goal appears to be torpedoing his career as well as the GOP in general. “I believe thatContinue reading “Kevin McCarthy: “You asked for it, you got it””

By BRUCE LOWITT The U.S. Men’s National Team, which plays soccer in the United States and football everywhere else, has lodged a formal complaint – and says a lawsuit can be next – following its scoreless draw with England in what it called “the crookedest World Cup in the history of sport.” Gregg Bernhalter, coachContinue reading “Just one goal is all they need”

By BRUCE LOWITT In an unprecedented, historic and hysterical move, Donald Trump sued the U.S. Supreme Court collectively, and eight of its nine justices individually, after it ruled the former president could no longer hide his tax returns from the Justice Department or anyone else who might want to see them. In a unanimous decisionContinue reading “If “The Taxman Cometh”, does Trump goeth (to jail)?”