Author Archives: lowittlowdown

By BRUCE LOWITT Lacking an actual defense, former president Donald Trump’s legal team admitted Wednesday it is pursuing a policy of detours and roadblocks to fight the classified documents indictment against him “by demanding everything about everyone from everywhere,” according to Todd Blanche, one of his lawyers. In the 68-page formal request to the officeContinue reading “Jack Smith to Trump: “ICYMI, LMAO””

By BRUCE LOWITT Just three days after announcing his retirement as University of Alabama’s head football coach, Nick Saban agreed Saturday to a conditional four-year contract to become head coach of the Seattle Seahawks, the condition being that the NFL moves the team to Tuscaloosa, Alabama. Chuck Arnold, president of the Seahawks, pointing out thatContinue reading “Saban stays in ‘Bama – with a new team”

By BRUCE LOWITT Gov. Ron DeSantis, wrecking what he had hoped to be the resurrection of his moribund presidential campaign, inadvertently flew thousands of his supporters from Florida to New York, Los Angeles, and Martha’s Vineyard, Massachusetts, instead of the Iowa caucuses. “We read that when George W. Bush was running in 2000 he sentContinue reading “Directionless DeSantis”

Copy of Nikki Haley’s fifth-grade civics test on the Civil War, obtained through a Freedom of Information request:

By BRUCE LOWITT Alleged Republican presidential candidate and professional scumbag Vivek Ramaswamy has ended what he called his “idiotic” spending of hundreds of thousands of dollars on his television campaign ads because “Everyone knows I don’t back pathetic losers and right now I’m one of the biggest.” With just 18 days to go until theContinue reading “Ramaswamydungdone”

By BRUCE LOWITT Transcript, recorded by a U.S. Supreme Court clerk who provided it on condition of anonymity, of the discussion by the justices on whether to immediately hear Special Counsel Jack Smith’s request to grant certiorari before judgment on former president Donald Trump’s claim of presidential immunity on charges of plotting to overturn theContinue reading “Disorder in the Court”

By BRUCE LOWITT According to a handwritten note from Colorado Supreme Court Justice Monica Marquez to the court’s six other judges, former president Donald Trump “shouldn’t be allowed within one thousand feet of a public school, much less on an election ballot.” Marquez, whose note was found on the floor next to the court’s paperContinue reading “Courtship on the rocks”

By BRUCE LOWITT The National Park Service announced Monday its intention to reopen Alcatraz to accommodate Donald Trump when the former president, who recently compared himself to the “great” Chicago gangster Al Capone, is convicted of election interference and other federal charges. “Did anybody ever hear of the great Alphonse Capone, Al Capone? Great, greatContinue reading “Just call him “Scareface””

By BRUCE LOWITT Rudy Giuliani, supposedly financially bankrupt, definitely morally bankrupt, and guilty of defaming two Georgia election workers, sued Donald Trump for $140-million Friday, blaming the former president for “making me ruin my reputation by suckering me into his disgraceful reelection campaign.” A jury trial in Washington, D.C., set the full scope of damagesContinue reading “Rudy’s next targets”

By BRUCE LOWITT Despite authoring forty bills and resolutions, all of which died in committee without receiving a single vote during his 328 days representing New York’s Third Congresional District in Congress, Rep. George Santos managed to leave behind a paper trail unlike any ever seen in the history of the U.S. CapitolSantos, previously R-Dissolute,Continue reading “Santos: Worthless Bills”