By BRUCE LOWITT
Police in Fort Worth, Texas, responding to multiple calls Monday from angry residents in the affluent Park Hill neighborhood, surrounded the home of Mark and Brooke Rollins on Winton Terrace West to quell what Police Chief Neil Noakes described as a “potential political poultry problem.”
Brooke Rollins, President Donald Trump’s Secretary of Agriculture, said in a March 2 Fox News interview that the way for consumers to circumvent the high price of eggs was to start raising chickens, adding. “We’ve got chickens, too, in our backyard … and people are sort of looking around thinking, ‘Wow, well maybe I could get a chicken in my backyard.’”
According to Noakes, “the cacophony of clucking was overwhelming and the amount of, if you’ll pardon the expression, chickenshit, was not to be believed. Mr. Rollins had to be restrained when his wife told him she brought in the chickens ‘for the good of the country.’”
“We can afford all the freaking eggs we want,” said Mark Rollins, chairman of an overseas energy company. “We don’t need no goddamned chickens running around, squawking and cackling and pecking and shitting all over the place. Just look at my golf shoes.”
Brooke Rollins, asked how people who have no backyard, who have no home, or have no jobs could raise chickens, replied, “The first step is to get a law degree, like I did. Also, hook up with a politician like I did with (then-Texas governor) Rick Perry. Also, marry rich, like I did. After that, anyone can afford a chicken coop and an illegal immi- … I mean, uh, someone to tend to it.”
The Rollinses, each with a net worth of about $1-million, have four children and live in an 8,182-square-foot home on 1.46 acres, currently valued at $2.1-million.
Next-door-neighbor Amy Dephouse said the “noise is deafening, even in the middle of the night.” Her husband, Timothy, added, “What’s even worse is the stink. I mean, what the hell is wrong with these people?”
A few doors down, Thomas Bessant, holding a “Get your cock off our block” sign, said the biggest problem is the Rollins’ rooster waking him up each morning., “and even worse, every dog in the neighborhood goes fucking nuts when the crowing starts.”
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