By BRUCE LOWITT
In a dramatic and unprecedented decision, Judge Juan Merchan ruled Wednesday that Donald Trump’s presidency be halted “for up to four years” until his criminal conviction for falsifying records to cover up a sex scandal can be sorted out.
“I do not come to this ‘Solomonic’ compromise easily,” Merchan, an acting justice of the New York State Supreme Court, said, “although given the defendant and the details of this case, perhaps ‘Solomoronic’ is more appropriate.”
He admitted it is only a “tentative resolution” to the trial that began after a grand jury handed down an indictment against Trump on March 30, 2023.
“President-elect Trump requested dismissal of his conviction on 34 counts related to the reimbursement of hush money to a hot porn star … excuse me, to adult film actress Stephanie Clifford, known professionally as Stormy Daniels,” Merchan said, “a request which Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg rejected.”
Bragg countered that there is no law requiring a judge to dismiss Trump’s conviction before he becomes president again and suggested instead that the case be paused “in order to balance competing constitutional interests, even if one side – and I won’t mention which – doesn’t give a fuck about the Constitution.”
Merchan already has twice postponed sentencing Trump, who accused the judge during the trial of being biased against him, “and I am unwilling to do away with the jury’s verdict,” he said, “because if I do that, half the country is going to scream bloody murder that I was biased for him.”
“Besides, after all the shit the jurors had to sit through, not to mention potential death threats, the least I could do is honor them for the six weeks of shit they had to sit through,” Merchan said. “Oh, wait, I already said that. Man, it was a lot of shit.
“Anyway, I have decided to ‘split the baby,’ so to speak, by postponing not only the sentencing but the presidency, thus giving both the prosecution and this convicted felon’s defense all the time they require to come to an agreement on how much time, if any, he should spend in the slammer.”
If the two sides reach an agreement, Trump will assume the presidency either after he has served the agreed-upon time or immediately if the decision is no jail time.
But if, after four years, the two sides have been unable to agree on the length of a prison term, Merchan said, he will sentence Trump to whatever time he feels is appropriate – “and boy-oh-boy, is that going to be fun or what?”
“As to the presidency during the length of the pause, I leave that to Congress to sort it out,” Merchan said. “Granted, the Twenty-fifth Amendment sort of covers this. I mean, it says ‘if the president dies, resigns, or is removed from office’ the vice president takes over – but Trump’s not in office so he’s not being removed from it.
“Besides, who wants to see a President Vance? No one likes that weirdo, not even Senate Republicans or members of the House, except for a handful of whackos, right? So I recommend that if Mr. Bragg and Trump’s shysters can’t … excuse me, the defense counsel can’t come to a resolution, then the five-hundred-and-thirty-five members of Congress get together and pick a temporary president.
“I insist on only one condition,” Merchan said. “No weapons.”
lowittlowdown 