The Lakers: Just Kidding

By BRUCE LOWITT

The Los Angeles Lakers’ drafting of LeBron James’ son, Bronny, has ignited a wave of reactions by other NBA players insisting that teams sign their kids.

“If the Lakers can see fit to signing LeBron’s untested 19-year-old for a million-or-so bucks a year for three years until they admit he’s not good enough to play with his dad, ain’t no reason my Warriors can’t sign Chris Jr. to a three-year futures contract and prep him for the G League,” Golden State point guard Chris Paul said of his 15-year-old son.”

“Hey, wait a minute,” Los Angeles Clippers power forward P.J. Tucker said when told of Chris Paul’s demand. “My boy, King, may be only 12 years old but I can tell he’s showing signs that he could be a first-round NBA pick in 2031. If the Clippers don’t agree, I’m outa here.”

Stephen Curry, king of the NBA three-pointers, went one further than Chris Paul, his Golden State teammate. “I’m already working with my kid to shoot from behind the arc and I have no doubt he’ll eventually outshine me,” Stephen said of five-week-old Caius Chai Curry.”

LeBron figures to sign a three-year deal to stay with the Lakers and wait for Bronny to join him – but he added a demand of his own. “If Bronny’s going to play for the (G League’s) South Bay Lakers, I’m going with him for the first year at least,” LeBron said. “He’s going to need a chaperone. I’ve been in pro ball long enough to know what kind of trouble he could get into and it ain’t gonna happen to my kid.”

While fathers and sons have briefly played together on the same team in the NHL, NFL and Major League Baseball, LeBron and Bronny would be the first in the NBA.

“Hey, we don’t have to wait a year or two for our league to catch up to the other ones,” New York Knicks guard Jalen Brunson said. “My dad Rick’s only 13 years older than LeBron, he played for these Knicks and six other NBA teams, he’s one of our coaches and you should see him in the shootarounds. I think he’s still got it.”

To which Miami Heat forward-center Kevin Love said, “I think I’ve got Jalen beat. Stan, my dad, played in the NBA and the ABA and my wife Kate (Bock) is a ten-time veteran of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. She never played basketball but she’s 5-foot-11 and you want to talk about Miami Heat? She’s hot!”