By BRUCE LOWITT
Budding theoretical ethicist and veteran moral degenerate Donald Trump, having resolved his electrocution-vs.-sharks conundrum, has turned his attention to kittens, pioneer schoolmarms, and parades in his quest to prove he would be the best presidential decision maker.
Trump told a rally Wednesday at Utah’s Aspen Grove Behavioral Hospital, “Say there’s a Chicago-bound train that might go over a cliff if you don’t throw a switch, but you can’t do that and also save a bunch of kittens about to be slaughtered by an illegal immigrant. What do you choose to do?”
The former president-turned-felon, who told a Republican rally last Sunday in Las Vegas he’d choose electrocution by a big boat battery as it sank over being eaten by a shark, told Aspen Grove’s residents he’d save the kittens “because you know how much I like pussies. And the train is probably carrying people to the Democratic National Convention.”
Taking aim at his presidential opponent in November, Trump said in a post-rally Newsmax interview, “I bet Sleepy Joe Biden doesn’t give a damn about electric boat batteries or sharks. Besides, he’s a lover of rabid dogs and probably hasn’t seen a cute pussy in years.”
Wednesday night, in a rally at the Tyson Fresh Meats plant in Amarillo, Texas, he said, “Say you’re a Cowboy running a cattle drive but the cows start stampeding and there’s a purty schoolmarm standing right in their path. What do you do? What I do is stop the stampede because we don’t want to start importing meat from China, and besides that teacher’s probably spouting all sorts of DEI bullshit.”
Thursday morning, Trump told a group of J6 convicts at the Leavenworth Federal Penitentiary, “Say there’s a tornado – you know all about them ’cause you live in what they call Tornado Alley, right? – and it’s bearing down on a Black Lives Matter march and a few blocks away there’s a Pride parade and you can only warn one. What do you do? I’ll tell you what I do. I pardon everyone in here, celebrate the bloodbath of dozens of demonstrators, and get the hell out of Kansas.”
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