Greene gets gornisht

By BRUCE LOWITT

Marjorie Taylor Greene, angrily blaming what she called “a Jewish cable [sic] in Congress” for refusing to support her motion to remove Mike Johnson as Speaker of the House of Representatives, threatened Monday to file a bill requiring future sessions to be held only during the High Holy Days.

“This collection of gazpacho Jews think they can get away with keeping Johnson in office just because he likes pastrami sandwiches and chopped liver more than he cares about helping Russia to crush Ukraine,” said Greene, R-Shiksa. “Well, I’m not afraid of their space lasers.”

She had demanded that Johnson, R-Chaverut, be ousted from the speakership due to his supporting a bipartisan bill providing $62-billion in aid for Ukraine. But her motion was killed by a 359-43 vote.

Greene, told that the only Jewish Republicans in the House, Ohio’s Max Miller and Tennessee’s David Kustoff, had sided with the the majority against her, snarled, “That’s it! From now on, no more Christmas fruitcake for those two.”

Miller and Kustoff, replying to Greene’s threat to remove them from her holiday gift list, said in a joint statement, “Oy gevalt!”

Among the Democratic Reps. opposing Greene’s motion was Oregon’s Suzanne Bonamici.

“Wait. What?” Greene exclaimed. “With a name like that she’s got to be Italian. You can’t tell me she’s Jewish. I mean, come on! Cohen, Jacobs, Goldberg, Slotkin, Frankel … sure. But tell me Jews whose names end in a vowel.”

“Benjamin Disraeli,” said Rep. Adam Schiff, D-Litvak. “Judy Blume. Stan Lee. James Franco. Drake. How about Benjamin Netanyahu?”

“Oh, for Chr …”

“Uh-uh-uhhh,” Schiff warned.

The decision to seek Johnson’s ouster was, for Greene, a rare departure from her slavish support of everything favored by former President Donald Trump, who has defended him.

Trump, speaking outside the courthouse where “there’s going to be a bloodbath if that crooked Democrat jury finds me guilty of anything,” said of Greene, “Y’know, if that Goyishe Froi – it’s what Allen Weisselberg calls her, whatever that means – doesn’t shut up, as soon as I’m back in the White House she’ll be out on her tookis. … Is that how you say it in Jewish?”