After “faking the rage,” Tucker Carlson wants to show his softer side

By BRUCE LOWITT

The discovery of a cache of e-mails showing what Tucker Carlson claims to be his softer side has Fox rethinking the firing of its most popular host. But the racist, misogynistic prime-time star has rebuffed the right-wing network and is offering his services to a raft of other cable programs.

“All that bullshit I spread on Fox for the past seven years was just an act. I did it for the money,” he told The Atlantic magazine. “I know my former bosses want to keep me from talking politics on some other news network, but Bryan (Freedman, his lawyer) tells me my contract can’t keep me from working for networks that aren’t political.

“Look, I love puppies and kittens. People know I’m actually a loving, caring guy. I love to bake in my spare time and I’m great with kids,” Carlson said. “But when Fox told me to start faking the rage or lose the big bucks I decided the principal was more important than principles. Also, I think the text messages which got me shit-canned were seriously misinterpreted and taken out of context.”

When he texted that three caucasians fought what he called “an Antifa kid” and that “it’s not how white men fight,” he said he was pointing out the difference between Muhammad Ali and Jerry Quarry or Rocky Balboa and Apollo Creed, that “it’s just a matter of style.”

And when, after the Jan. 6 Capitol riot, he called then-president Donald Trump a “demonic force” and a “destroyer,” he said he was “comparing him to the late Dick Beyer,” a professional wrestler of the 1960s known as the Destroyer, “and Demonic Flamita, a masked Mexican wrestler today. I think President Trump, and he’s still our president, would be proud of the comparisons. He’s a fighter.”

Carlson released what he called a partial list of networks and programs he has e-mailed in his quest to return to national television but did not disclose whether he has heard back from any of them.

He said Animal Planet particularly intrigued him and that he was ready to take the reins of either Dogs 101 or Cats 101, programs which examine the many facets of canines and felines.

“I’ve had both dogs and cats,” Carlson said. “Well, actually, only one dog, a Presa Canario who ate our three kittens while I was out resetting the bear traps around our property. God, I loved Mr. Pootin and there was no reason for those freaking fascists at city hall to make me put him down just because he ripped some guy’s leg off.”

He said he’s also interested in the History Channel because “Nazi propaganda still gets big ratings, especially all the Hitler stuff – damn, that’s good,” and the CW Network because “it’s getting fBoy Island and adding fGirl Island this season and both will be hosted by Nikki Glaser and I’d really like to fHer.”

“Also Sesame Street, wherever they show it,” he said, “but I’ve got to tell you I don’t trust that bird around children, no matter what anyone says – and I’m not all that sure about Ernie and Bert, either.”

He also said he’d be interested in hosting The 700 Club on what he called “the Christian Nationalist Network” or The Coming Apocalypse on PTL or Journey Home on EWTN – but Carlson emphatically ruled out appearing on BET or Aspire or TheGrio, or Telemundo or Univision.

“I have scruples,” he said.