Brady won’t come back – but some other QBs might

By BRUCE LOWITT

Tom Brady denies the rumor that he retired “because of some pussy,” saying he was misunderstood by a broadcaster who overheard a phone call by the future Hall of Fame quarterback. But the idea that he might come back for yet one more season has created mayhem in the NFL rumor mill.

Yes, he has retired after 23 seasons, the final three – including his seventh Super Bowl championship – with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, and no, he has no intention of unretiring as he did a year ago.

When a rumor floated around the recent NFL combine in Indianapolis that he might be headed to the Miami Dolphins, Brady tweeted: “Anyone who thinks I have time to come back to the NFL has never adopted a 2 month old kitten for their daughter.”

In fact, he adopted two of them for 10-year-old Vivian. During the 2022 season, Brady quietly volunteered for a couple of hours twice or three times a month at the Humane Society of Tampa Bay where he, Vivian and 12-year-old son Ben would walk, wash and play with the animals.

“So this ‘pussy’ business, I don’t know who started that,” he said. “Not that I would turn down … No wait. I mean now that I’m divorced I get all the … Damn. See, this is how … Never mind.”

The gossip that Brady might even be thinking about returning for a 24^th season, despite being emphatically shot down, as well as the insane contracts NFL teams are handing out, triggered a wave of rumors that other quarterbacks were considering unretiring, which were denied – sort of.

“Looking back since I hung it up, I might have had maybe a year’s worth of games left in me,” said Philip Rivers, who retired after the 2020 season, made $25-million his final year and now coaches football at St. Michael Catholic High School in Fairhope, Alabama.

“But I have no desire to … Wait a minute. Derek Carr is getting how much from the Saints? A hundred-and-fifty-freakin’-million over four years? A hundred-million guaranteed? That guy? Holy Chr- … I mean, uh, wow! Hey Falcons, Jets, Raiders, Redsk- … Commanders. Call me at St. Michael at two-five-one-four-five-nine-zero-two-one-zero and ask for athletics.”

Daniel Snyder, owner of the Washington Commanders, trying to screw the rest of the owners on his way out the door by destroying the NFL salary structure, offered Andrew Luck a fully guaranteed one-year $150-million contract.

Luck, who retired after the 2018 season with a nearly-destroyed right shoulder and various other injuries that caused chronic pain, turned down the offer, prompting Snyder to shout, “With what I was going to pay him he could’ve bought himself a whole new body. Selfish bastard.”

Peyton Manning, elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 2021, said he’s done with football “except for that stupid Pro Bowl crap I did with Eli and the Manningcast drivel the two of us do.” But his younger brother wasn’t so sure about his own future.

“Peyton made almost $248-million before he quit,” Eli said. “That’s about fifteen-and-a-half million more than me. And I am really sick of being the kid brother, the number two in this family. I’ll never get the number of commercials he does, but I’d love to beat him in career NFL earnings.

“And you’re telling me the Browns wouldn’t love to unload (Deshaun) Watson and his $230-million guaranteed contract and pay me, say, $25-million for one year ? And I’ll pay five of it back if we don’t make the playoffs. I mean come on.”