What’s in a name? More than you might want

Delta Air Lines has denied any responsibility for the latest fast-spreading variant of the COVID-19 coronavirus and, despite an absence of any evidence, is trying to blame it on a healthcare firm and various other companies.
“Just because the so-called Delta variant first showed up in India, and just because we fly to New Delhi and Mumbai, doesn’t mean s—,” an obviously angry Ed Bastian, president and chief executive officer of the Atlanta-based airline, told a news conference.
“Hell, United and American (airlines) fly to New Delhi and Chennai and Bangalore and Hyderabad and Calcutta or Kolkata or whatever the hell they call that Black Hole now,” he went on, his voice rising.
“Or call it the British Air virus. It’s tearing the crap out of the UK and they fly all over India, which I’d like to remind you used to be a British colony. Our airline’s name comes from the Mississippi Delta area, where the company was born eighty-something years ago, not from some freaking disease.”
Bastian then pulled a sheaf of papers from an attache case, waved it around wildly, started handing out copies and shouted, “You’re looking for a good reason to blame someone? What about these guys?”
The material was promotional literature and advertising for The Delta Companies, a Dallas-based healthcare staffing agency that puts together physicians, nurses and other medical personnel with hospitals as well as filling temporary medical positions.
“Look at this,” Bastian said, holding up a Delta Companies poster of men and women in medical scrubs. “Where do you think they’ve been? What do you think they’ve been dealing with? Diseases! And … and …”
Bastian started frantically pulling photos of bathroom fixtures out of his briefcase. “And what about these guys? Delta Faucets! Shower drains and stuff. Y’know what these things handle? Filth! … And, wait, this Connecticut company. Delta Treatment Systems. Wastewater treatment! More filth!”
He was on a roll now.
“And look at these … these ducks. Ducks!” Bastian was feverishly holding up a brochure for Delta Waterfowl, a Bismarck, North Dakota, conservation organization. “They … wait, I’ll read it to you. ‘We work to produce ducks.’ You want to know what ducks produce? Duck s—! Diseases!”
When the exhausted airline executive ended his rant and asked if there were any questions, a reporter from a small community radio station began, “When you said …”
“Excuse me,” Bastian interrupted, “but who are you?”
“Sheila Boswell, WDTL-FM radio. When you …”
“Where’s that?”
“Delta Radio Network, India- …”
That’s when Bastian tried to grab her microphone and had to be escorted from the room by security.
“I don’t get it,” Boswell said a few minutes later. “What’s he got against Indianola, Mississippi?”